An Autobiography of The Indian Rupee !!!

Hey, I am the Indian Rupee. The official currency of India. But nowadays its nothing official about it. Even so that I am cracking punchlines which are stolen from soft drink brands !!! Any speaker on any electronic media just bajaoes me to no end.

Everywhere I look its just down, down and down and poor Mr. Pranabda with his entourage is pulling me up. But he also gave up and now has risen to the 'level of incompetence'. So now that makes it two finance pros contributing nothing to this country. Enter Quick Gun Chidambaram !!!

Till some time I did not even have existence on paper, those long faced accountants used to write 'Rs' against a sum of money to represent me. So down graded you see !! Thank God for Uday Kumar for 'coining' my existence .. nice wordplay there *pats back*

Recently I heard there was a big debate as to who will complete a century first Sachin Tendulkar, Price of Petrol or My Price !! For a moment I felts very nice to be appreciated or is it depreciated, but then I realized it is all not very simple. The Dollar and the Euro were apparently taking their revenge for us naming our underwear brands after them. But in the end, Thank God for SRT that he saved us the blushes. Ohh wait ... my sentence just got into a circular loop. God save me .. err or is it Sachin !?!?!

But for a moment greed took over me the moment I got to know that once you turn 60 you get tax benefits. Obviously in this kind of scenario who would not want a safe and secure future. My paisa my baby just has me. I am the single father every paisa is looking upto. Some of my loved ones even seized to exist. They have been replaced by the likes of  'Mentos' & 'Chloromints'. Please 'dont ask again'.

Although it feels nice that everyone is talking about you. The RBIs n the SEBIs and even the non speaking 'on mute' person sitting at the top. Wow !!! I made him speak (note to self: Put it up on my resume).

But I have this sentimental side of mine too. Time and again I have been the reason these scamsters & corrupt politicians get greedy and even put my image in jeopardy. People call me all sorts of names, the likes of 'Black money' and 'Root of all evil'. It hurts. Although I am ready to take all the brunt if the society benefits. No no .. I am not forcing Tushar Kapoor to quit acting !! That is even beyond me.

So what now .. well I just got promoted. The government just featured me in a new avatar - a brand new coin #10 and its really very shiny.

Just hope that the government just keeps on pampering me like this afterall I am the national currency boss !!!

Ekdum saras che Captain !!!

Simply Fly is this man's vision but he has his feet firmly on the ground. The man who revolutionized the Airlines sector is back with a bang.

Captain Gopinath is in the news again this time for initiating the domestic airlines in Gujarat. And what a saras plan it seems to be. Gujarat being the hub of all the economic activity nowadays, the Shahs and the Patels will have no problems in travelling from Surat to Jamnagar. The airline is called Deccan Shuttle and will start 12 flights a day between nine cities such as Ahmedabad, Surat, Jamnagar, Bhavnagar and Kandla with five 12-seater Grand Caravans.

It is his third foray into Indian Airline business with an almost perfect report card. This man knows his exit well and plans everything to perfection.

So what does Captain have to do to make this airline a hit ??

For starters, yeah for starters he should include a top class and continuously rejuvenating inventory of jalebi and fafda. Nothing can keep a Gujju bhai happy than fresh jalebi - fafda in the mornings !!!

The khaman and the dhoklas should keep on coming as part of the munchies by the sides and not to forget the spiced buttermilk. Thats a must.

The flight timings should be arranged properly so as to no Gujju bhai and ben misses their daily soaps. You dont want to infuriate the lady of the house on basis of her TV soap. Then your payment and incentives are in a fix.

Also there should be a small temple in the aeroplane as all Baas need their bit of prayers and meditation done especially in the morning flights.

The speakers should play the latest tracks by Falguni Pathak & Preety-Pinky dandiya songs or else the refund clause will be triggered. You cannot simply take out Dandiya from Gujarati person's life.

The business class TVs should only play NDTV Profit & CNBCs of this world unless this is ensured the flight wont take off.

If Capt Gopinath ensures that such steps are taken then no one can stop the Deccan Shuttle to rise beyond the loss making horizons of the Indian Airline Industry.

The Legend of Gopinath once created major airwaves with Air Deccan but this venture will definitely include heating more microwaves than creating more airwaves.

P.S: King of Good Times likes this !!!

Maruti's love affair with Manesar

Maruti was the name of the car of a middle class guy and for some it still is. Maurti Suzuki ltd in all its lifetime has been one of the pioneering figure in Indian Car industry somewhat like a Dravid but now has been upstaged by the Kohlis & Rainas of this world.
Add to that the injuries and by injuries I mean the damages & conflicts it has been suffering for some time now especially from Manesar - the heart of Maruti Suzuki Ltd.
So when I write this episode, firstly I remember my Ecommerce professor who have been using this example as a part of his discussion and we did not understand the depth of it. Well now I do.
So the current scenario is bad. Conflicts, damages, deaths, plant shutdown, share prices down and what not. But was it the same all along ? The Maruti-Manesar love affair is long one. Since 2007, Maruti is enjoying this live in relationship and the oodles of romance followed.
And like those naughty vendors who disturb the romancing couples in gardens, the vendors of all bought out components fr Maruti cars just dwelled on the outskirts of Manesar to facilitate the relationship. Seats, glass, steering systems, electronic units, radiators .. you name them and the companies which make them are there.
About 70 percent of Maruti's 200 odd vendors are based in Gurgaon-Manesar belt. Its like for your ration, they have ten odd baniyas at their disposal then whos going to go to the mall for shopping.
Year after year the fruits of relationship (read as new car models) came into this world and the car industry accepted then with open hearts and stamped them as legitimate. The infrastructure which Maruti has built  is impossible to replicate in short period. Plans are made with a view till 2013.
But now is the time of domestic violence where the important cog of this relationship i.e. the trust has gone for a toss. And there stands this Gujju with open arms and strong infrastructure arms to steal Maruti from the clutches of Manesar.
So then how will Maruti fare in this new relationship ? The deal is struck. 700 acres of land near Mehsana and forecasted spending of 4000 crore rupees by 2015-16. But the love still persists. The management is not in favour of shutting the plant down although it has been shut indefinitely for now. The major factor is the skilled labour availibility as any local found is interested in partnership and not to work for them. Silly Gujarati business mind cheapshot.
But the fact still remains. Maruti to Gujarat FC from Manesar FC is like that interesting transfer which the entire Indian Political environment is watching. It almost seems that the transfer papers are signed and Maruti just needs to go for a medical. #FootballingMetaphor