The Modi-fied Elections

From the land of Dandi march this certain Mr. Modi gave a big 'Danda' to the Congress and established his supremacy over the state of Gujarat. Narendra Modi got elected for his third successive term thereby celebrating a hat trick of wins. BJP won 115 seats in the 182 seat assembly but 2 seats short of their victory in 2007. This was the third win under the leadership of Modi but will Modi be there in Gujarat the next time around is a big question. The man set to be the next in line for the Prime Minister of the country, will he stick around in his state rather than going for the big prize ?? That we will see in the next episode of Indian Politics Season 4 presented by Fevicol and Zandu Balm !!

But till then there were celebrations and celebrations galore. The oath taking ceremony had a starcast of its own. Some media reports suggested that even Suraj Barjatiya was awed by the ensemble and wants to replicate the same in his next movie. All the top BJP and NDA leaders made their presence felt and yes Vivek Oberoi was there too. Come on, the guy deserves a special mention. It evolved as a promenade for exchanging notes on the direction of Indian politics and yes some basic minuscule gossip as well.

What followed was a showpiece investment meeting with all the top guns of India Inc. The Ambanis, The Tatas, The Roys and the Adanis were present. Its like taking corporate attendance and each one shouting 'Present teacher'. The program suitably monikered Vibrant Gujarat 2013 but should have actually been called the Modi show !! Not to forget delegates form various companies from the first World countries also made their presence felt.

But the overall picture is very happy and everyone is upbeat about the future. There were huge celebrations in Gujarat. Even the Gujjus in Mumbai organized grand morning parties of jalebi and fafda to commemorate this feat followed by Surati Undhiyo. Dalal street swung to the chants of 'One Mr. Modi' and the industrialists and businessmen developed investo-gasms. Please dont even get me started on the Germans and the Japanese. If one has a penchant for English grammar then this can be put as Gujarat happy, India happier and Japan/Germany happiest !!

So for now its time to dance .. not the Dandiya .. its time for Oppa Gujarat Style !!

Thats the last to be heard from yours truly .. well this year !! Dont get so happy !! We meet next year .. until then Happy New Year !!

The Perfect Hedge !!

India .. once called the Land of Gold now can only visualize gold in bulk in either the luggage compartment of cars in the fake chases of RGV movie or on the dashboard of real Bappi Lahiri. India thrives nowadays on its main five pillars. Politics, Religion, Movies, Cricket and Food !! If you are an Indian and if you are plying your trade in one of these five pillars then you my friend will never go high and dry. No, not the Radiohead song. Its just a matter of when to give preference to which pillar and that small entity called success will be cleaning your doormat. And yes that's the layman definition of Hedging.

Hedging as wikipedia would say 'is an investment position intended to offset potential losses/gains that may be incurred by a companion investment'. All of a sudden I am getting this powerful drive to pay my respects to my elders for completing their education sans Google and Wikis of this world. Massive Respect.

So basically hedging would work in such a way that say if you diversify your biz and when one is in doldrums there should be such a system that the other one is high on drums. And if you are shrewd enough, it will be one freaking orchestra !!

Lets all start with the Chuck Norris of all pillars, Politics !! It is the perennial entity atleast in India which has a sort of  demi God status. Its the supreme of all hedges. You can actually support all the other pillars by hedging them against this. When your political leader is unwell, throng the temples which might be owned by that politician in the first place (High chances). So what is not earned through Politics gets you from Religion. On the flip side, if the political party wins go and put loads on the feet of the Gods. Well the right direction is feet to temple to trust to pockets of the same politician. Can we use 'What goes around, comes around' here ?? Genuine Koschan.

Politics and Movies go deep. Step 1: Make your son an actor/actress. Step 2: Invest money in him/her even if he/she is a dumb wit of the first kind. Step 3: Earn in politics, shower in movie distributions and vice versa. If you did not get this, maybe I will explain Latur .. err I mean Later.

Cricket - India's national sport should actually be India's national hedge. It takes care of everything. Match is not interesting, go while your time away by eating, Food sector is equal to sorted !! Cricket career not the brightest .. build some biceps and put on face whitening creams .. some Ghai or Chopra will cast you for sure. Think Kambli .. I meant calmly (Whats wrong with me !!). And to top it all, when your favourite batsman hits a rough patch (Resemblances are uncanny) then visit the nearest temple to perform the maha yagya !! Just for your kind information, Hockey is still the national sport !!

Food cannot be underestimated under any circumstances. Especially when the circumstance is a fast kept by political leader. On one side it gets you sympathy votes for forthcoming elections and vitamin M for the party's treasury. On the other side when the outer world sleeps the phones of the nearby outlets are abuzz with the gourmet demands of the party workers. Gluttony is a small small word !!

Hedging is not as crude as it sounds or as I made it look. Definitely not the the eighth deadly sin. It has to be used in a good way so that you dont go bust. Gone are the days when hedging was just used in reference to botany. Corporates and Individuals alike, all hedge so that they earn the maximum cheese in this rat race. Now we know that the cheese was not just moved for the heck of it, it got hedged.

Aadhar for People, Support for Government

Aadhar is the moniker given to the Unique Identification Number or some of the marketing enthusiasts would say a 'Brand Name' to the entire UIDAI's process. Unique Identification Authority of India is headed by the once software bigwig Mr. Nandan Nilekani. Nilekani who has a successful software career with Infosys and multi million networth but this advisor to the Government tag is more important. Its more like any European football club is proud of its League title and the Domestic cup win but Champions League win is altogether different.

The UIDAI's mandate is to issue every resident a unique identification number linked to the resident's demographic and biometric information, which they can use to identify themselves anywhere in India, and to access a host of benefits and services. So for now the likes of Shamita Shetty and Tanisha will have a unique identity and not just mere star sisters !!

Recently the Aadhar card came into much news as government announced cash transfer rollout. There is a lot of excitement and anxiety both about the Government's stance over this step. Rather than doling out subsidies in the physical format, a model is developed where cash is transferred directly into the accounts of the beneficiaries. The identification of the eligible beneficiaries is sought to be done on the basis of Aadhar cards. This new identification system will be more than 99% fool proof and hence cannot be corrupted. After hearing this, I wonder the Gangarams of this world will break into a jig and develop a new dancing style. #GangaramStyle

But nothing in India is without hurdles. Be it municipal roads for the Indian cars or off late the English spinners for the Indian batting lineup. Then why an exception to this. The main hurdle is rolling out the remaining cards in just over 18 months and the number is huge. Huge enough for an ordinary citizen but not huge enough for an ordinary politician. For one it relates to a number seen in textbooks for other it is the amount of the scam. Yeah, so the amount is somewhere in the region of 38 crores. Expect last minute rush which would lead to increased inefficiency and even duplicity. Another problem to this magnanimous project is the biometrics. For most of the lesser educated population the word 'biometrics' draws parallels from something taken out from movies like Krisshh and Ra.One. So taking biometric prints that to for labourers and farmers is a difficult task in itself plus their prints vary over lifetime. Also iris scans of the population over 60 is largely unreliable. So if you are a farmer above sixty then you are screwed. Loss of identity alert.

Aadhar is solely dependent on National Population Registrar and the cards are issued to the people covered by them so far. Its like a token oriented line, no matter how empty the line looks you have to wait till that idiot ahead of you comes back from his loo break and gets his thing done. #PersonalWoes. Add to that the guessing game played by the government. They are waiting for the iron to get hot so that they can strike, instead only thing getting hot are people's heads. But the irons, the woods and the putters all will be hot when elections cometh. Golf analogy .. Rory or Tiger will get this !!

Its true that current government will use the cash transfer as that dangling carrot in front of Hungry India, Poor India for votes. Initially the subsidies only will be added to the accounts but slowly but steadily pensions, wages and even scholarships will be routed through. Model is foolproof they say. Model is implemented successfully in Brazil they say. We have got jugaad for everything in India they never said. We dont have everything what Brazil has they never said. Pele, Ronaldo, Adriana Lima and Gisele Bundchen just did a collective facepalm.

So then what next? If this goes ahead, anything and everything will be based on Aadhar card only. A certain meaningful 'conditional' cash transfer will go for a toss. Unless levied with meaningful conditions India will not use it wisely. What starts with subsidies and food, fuels and fertilizers will reach to hoarding, gambling and black marketing in no time. Its like double edged sword which even the wielder needs to be wary about.

How we wish some particular qualities can be distributed through the Aadhar system. Some honesty and dignity for our politicians. Some acting talent and class for our film fraternity especially some heroes and heroines. Some shame for the anti social elements and finally some writing talent for the author. Thanks !!

World at large and the small Indian Stamp

All movies have these legendary characters with some of the iconic dialogues and taglines. And yeah the good guy gets all the good ones. Exception being The Joker #MassiveRespect. Well one of them needs no introduction. The name is Bond, James Bond and the car is Mahindra, Mahindra & Mahindra. Well almost !!

Recent turn of events gave rise to the speculation that the fate of iconic British carmaker Aston Martin will be finalized at the hands of none other than Indian auto heavy weight Mahindra & Mahindra. They have come as the frontrunner and will see the deal as more of a strategic investment.

M&M is likely to pick up a minority stake of around 40% and an option to up their ante to 50% over the next two-four years. The transaction may also see fresh equity being issued to M&M based on final valuation. Though the Indian auto giant may have to shell out $190-320 million. Aston Martin is one name which gets all the car lovers drooling and this one time Ford owned brand was sold to Kuwaiti consortium Investment Dar for $767 million. Currently Aston Martin is valued little over $1 billion. If deal goes ahead, M&M will benefit surely as they currently dont have a luxury or sports car to flaunt in their portfolio. The Warwickshire plant of Aston Martin makes two door beauties like Vanquish and Vantage which now India based car manufacturer looks to be at an Ad'Vantage'. But thats not all it seems ... 

Coming are the days when the iconic chases between Bond and his villains will involve Mahindra tractors and would span across sugarcane farms in Northen Punjab. On the flip side, for promotions of their new tractor line Daniel Craig just might come down to sign some autographs-photographs and pose with the lucky winner - Balwinder Singh !!! 

Thats just one iconic brand getting the India stamp and with India rising equation, that day will soon arise when we see some of the following events. Dont take your palms to your face ladies & gentlemen, the day is coming soon.

Starbucks has already entered India with their strategic partner, the Tata group. However one day we will see the Medusa-esque lady will be waving 'Tata' from the green neon to customers taking out Kerala brew and Assam tea in blocks across USA.

Her Majesty the Queen herself would sport on saree style gowns specially designed by Parag and Praful sarees. Madonna's dresses would be straight from the markets of Hill road and Linking road in Bandra, Mumbai. Given a thought and by the judgement of her current style statement, its not totally wrong that this trend has already started. Weird world !!

The likes of Pan Parag and Pataka Chai sit prominently on the boundary billboards of South African test matches. Only some days left that Pan Parag will be proud sponsors of a country's cricket or rugby team. Imagine the look on their face when they realize that what we chew and spit out gets them revenue by sporting on their shirt.

SuperBowl's highest paying advert willo have the tagline 'Kya aapke toothpaste mein namak hain?' while the pyro and fireworks at Olympics will be exclusively from Standard fireworks, Sivakashi.

Last but not the least, Vivek Oberoi and Celina Jaitley will be the poster favs across Manchester and in the New York square. I went too far, didnt I ?? #OkBye

2G: Raja flipped, now Sibal flopped !!

For a country with one of the largest consumer base and the mentality of buying galore, it was that awkward moment as huge money spinning, moolah strumming bands of airwaves went unsold. The government, which had set a reserve price of Rs 14,000 crore for pan-India spectrum was based on some serious number crunching by CAG. These calculations were done to cover the losses as part of the previous sale in 2008. However the government managed a meagre Rs 9,407.64 crore in the auction that lasted barely two days. Even well 'Cook'ed innings by English batsmen in Tests in India last longer.

But the government was under the weather similar to that IT guy just before the appraisals. The targets were locked and garnering Rs 30,000 crore through disinvestment and Rs 28,000 crore by way of sale of spectrum to telecom companies by the end of this fiscal was no easy task. The deficit was 'hot-air' ballooning and the disinvestment also not going the way it intended to which meant that 2G was their 'ParleG' for treasury nourishment.

This was a classic case of inability of striking the iron when it is hot. From Montek to the neighborhood paanwala, it was a unanimous decision that the auction was timed wrongly. But who says nothing can be done. Like for every flop bollywood star Big Boss acts as that moment of comeback to limelight, in the exact same way re-pricing the spectrum at regular intervals and auction of the remaining bandwidth should be a win-win. Scabbers .. oops Mr. Sibal likes this.

So it all started with Raja treating one of the biggest auctions the country has seen aka 2G spectrum one as inventory system of the local grocer. However the First Come First Served scheme was tinkered with and even the Prime minister and other 'not so Prime ones' were as bamboozled as Aussies facing Indian spinners on fifth day Wankhede wicket. The system threw 'Error 404' everytime the word transparency came up and rest as we know is history.

But let us look from another perspective. Would the common people come to know about the problems in the process if not for the hue and cry by CAG and more importantly the Rs 1.76 lakh crore amount doing the rounds. Its India and people pay attention to numbers. Replace the ministers' names with mere barcodes or heavy numbers and people will take notice. What is gone is gone, make ammends and carry on !!

But again we all flock to one common consensus and earmark one reason and carry on. This time the scapegoat is 'The price of the spectrum is too high'. It sounds like a mere statement and its totally unjustified. Firstly, the spectrum is being sold for a block of 20 years. Who knows where the prices vs usage graph will take us in some years. So what happens when India grows at larger rate, the dynamics have to be understood now and the price needs to be factored. Its like how much you convince the movie buffs that its the start of parallel cinema but that one SRK romantic movie brings you back on the level one supposition.

Second, its mere stupidity to price spectrum low just because business is low. Its like asking for discounts for woolen wear in the month of May. Here it may sound appropriate, but sweaters are no telecom spectrums. And if things worked the same everywhere I would be at the non strike seeing Sachin Tendulkar in action *snap*.  So back to reality then.

Third but not the last, the initial price of the spectrum was kept on the lower side to lure foreign money to the country's economy. Now how much of that money went into the economy is a big question. So now Manmohan Singh and his troops have to work on reverse psychology and get their work done.

So then to put it in a nutshell, one knows that the auction will always be in a pickle when there is bad investment scenario looming large, no involvement of the bigwigs, cartelisation, absence of policy changes and ofcourse the high price of spectrum and not proper utlization. It was basically a recipe for disaster and its fitting that Sibal and his entourage owns up.

So Mr. Sibal, snap out from that Bubble !! Wow that rhymed !!

Financography .. when Finance meets Geography !!

As much as the topic sounds a bit weird but how riveting it would be to learn such a subject. Its often conveyed by the so called 'Gurus of Finance' that Finance is not a stand alone thing .. you have to align yourselves with all the avenues adjoining it. Its like Finance is no Chuck Norris, visualize it more like Justice League or the Avengers !! With this we take almost the literal meaning of avenue and the expansive geographies  that go with it. 

Take Fiscal cliff for example. The fiscal cliff is a newly coined term in USA referring to the effect of a number of laws which, if unchanged, could result in tax increases, spending cuts, and a corresponding reduction in the budget deficit beginning in 2013. And you thought it would be one of those specially named geographical appendage along the Grand Canyon. Headlines doing the rounds are 'Rivals dig in as Fiscal cliff deepens' making one think that this is surely a geographical marvel which is being dug upon under the orders of the people in charge. So the wealthy will be taxed more so as to bring parity and improve the economy of the nation. Now this even the Geographers would not mind, even Mr. Eratosthenes !! 

The world of Technical Analysis - A branch of checking stocks, sends the not so finance world in a tizzy. There are peaks and there are troughs which are actually the measures to see price levels and not the means for cartographers to draw maps on. However both have this common thread - pressure. While the geographic counterparts develop as a result of the air and ground pressure all along, their financial namesakes develop due to buying and selling pressure of the stocks and scrips.

Then there are wedges, not sand nor green, they are technical analysis patterns which forecast market trends. Again Geography waits behind in the queue like geeks after the cool guys devoid of existence.

Now for Time to bring some History to the mix. Bretton Woods is an epoch event not just for USA but for the World at large as it is here that the exchange rate system involving gold and US dollars came into existence. By mere one look at the word, it sounds more like the one next to Yellowstone Park where Yogi Bear & BooBoo would venture out in search for picnic baskets.

American, European & Bermuda options are all terms in the Derivatives segment. All are means of exercising the option on or before the expiry of the contract and not some continent oriented avenues for the people on a vacation. As for Bermuda, I would be immensely happy if people mistake it for the island of notoriety and not for a piece of clothing worn by the great Govinda !!

Basel Accords are not the pre decided tourist spots in a Yashraj movie, they are infact the principles adopted for banking regulations. So now you know one more thing apart from Roger Federer to come out of Switzerland and which is important. Ouch !!

Upstream is just the methodology of exploration in oil industry and not the way in which the fishes swim. For a minute even Moby Dick got excited. Sorry thats the only famous fish I know. Technically a mammal. Damn this is hard !!

Shogun and Tankan are not Japanese mountain peaks. They are merely public offerings and public information systems in the Land of the Rising Sun. But who would blame the land where a mere plumber teaches a kid martial arts and makes him win a big tournament involving big bullies. Ohh wait .. was it Chinese ?!?! Can the real Mr. Miyagi please stand up !!

There are many more instances where Finance weds Geography and a confused term is born as a result of this wedlock. Keep calm and let the term find its own existence in this finance crazy world.

Heard this fact very often that dont judge the book by its cover. Taking the proverb forward, I promise that I wont judge the financial term by its geographical relation. Is it too late to put this under my New Year resolution, coz this seems feasible.

United States: Divided State of Elections !!!

And its settled Barack Obama got re-elected as the President of United States for another 4 years after beating Mitt Romney 275 to 203 votes. More like the first time we heard that a Donkey had the option to say 'Kiss My Ass' to an Elephant. The iconic tweet of 'Four More Years' got spread faster than ants in a sugar factory with 800 odd thousand retweets around the world. The appointment was met with admiration and love. If it was for any Indian politician 'Four More Years' would have been expressed in a different tone altogether !!

So then Mr. Obama has extended his mayorship of White House on Foursquare. But with him at the helm, I think the new paint job for the White house is a must. Simply because the white needs to be more brighter for the new President. Disclaimer: No racist remarks involved, not even thought. So the celebrations went on with great joy and pomp. Even I did not think twice before celebrating and enjoyed this moment with a couple of Dark Chocolate Brownies ... yeah coz they are my favorites !! What did you think ??

So lets see how the finances went ... Obama had UCLA, Microsoft, Google & Harvard University as the main contributors while Romney had all the financial bigwigs namely Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Morgan Stanley & Credit Suisse. It gives me the feel of a typical stables animosity from WWE where five guys from each side go at each other in a Tag team or a Lumber jack match !! Basically it shows the divided state of United States. Thats the first time I am using Antithesis since school !!

So now the man has taken his seat, what it means for people at large. The US of A, the World and most importantly India. Obama is facing whats called a fiscal cliff and its not one found along the Grand Canyon. If this is not resolved, US economy could face $600 billion worth of tax hikes and public spending cuts. More than his own rating, he now has to worry about whether US gets a credit rating knock. A downgrade for US is bad for the whole world .. its similar to how one bad SRK film makes the entire Bollywood sit and think. Tushar Kapoor & Uday Chopra are glad that I did not use their reference but what they fail to register is that we are talking about occasional flops. I hope they get it at some point.

But there is good news for India all around. US economy is showing signs of recovery although the unemployment rate is still high. However the easy money policy under Obama will mean more funds to be invested in emerging markets. This just in: Dalal street is celebrating !! Needless to say IT services will grow and expect more business. Along with IT, Pharma companies will gain from Obama's health plan. More like Pharma getting their new lease of life.

But there is this one thing pending ... So now we all wait for Mr. Arvind Kejriwal to come up to the podium and expose Mr. Obama. Yes, thats happening !!

The Starbucks - India equation !!

Starbucks opened its store for the first time in India .. or is it India opened its doors for the first time for Stabucks. Either way its here now and makes India the 61st country where the popular green neons are displayed. Believe it or not but first store in India comes exactly after 13 years since their operations started in China. Chowmein - 1, Haryana (India) - 0 !!

So what made Starbucks ponder over their strategy or was it pure procrastination ? Well, the Starbucks CEO, Mr. Howard Schultz believed that the tea sipping, chuski taking Indian culture will not welcome the coffee dominated brand with open arms. What he forgot that it is the same target audience which will run after anything which is on display in a branded shop sold at a premium. Second thing was finding a suitable partner to ply their trade. The main factor here was sustainability and no better 'reliance' than Tata !! Mr. Schultz definitely got this one right. Everyone needs a partner in crime. Some actors need their rich producer dads, some cricketers need their talent rich fellow cricketers and some crooked politicians need their drivers. Incredible India !!

So whats the amount of financial benefits are we talking about ? Retail consultancy Technopak Advisors predict India’s $ 230 million cafe market will swell to $ 410 million by 2017, with the number of cafes rising from 1,950 to 2,900 in the next five years. Out of that lot, this joint venture by Starbucks hopes to open 50 stores by the end of 2012. With one at Taj Mahal hotel and other in a suburban mall already waiting to hear the gunshot before the race, it looks like Starbucks will be there surely.

When we look at the possible competitors Cafe Coffee Day, which is owned by an Indian coffee conglomerate based in the southern city of Bangalore, has around 1,350 outlets and is the current market leader. A host of international players, like Gloria Jean’s, Costa Coffee and Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, are already scrambling to catch up. But the biggest rivals could well be the regional and more traditional coffee makers and providers. Typical Indian mentality will always make the average foodie go for the filter kaapi than the richer cousin.

Enough of the financial benefits and the synergies for the coffe giant, its India as a whole which also enjoys a lot more and infact takes learnings as well. For the Mumbaikars, it offered new backdrops to take photos against. So one will find all teenagers removing their camera phones and tablets and going *click* *click*. Plus the You just checked in at Starbucks, Horniman circle via Foursquare is a different issue altogether. The Medusa-esque coffee mascot of Starbucks stares down at you from a wall.

Secondly, its the free services on offer. Beat the heat and sit in an air conditioned coffee house which can hold upto 120 odd people and with our 'please adjust .. fourth seat' attitude might well as add 30 odd to it.

But finally and most importantly it taught a large set of Mumbaikars the importance of discipline. It taught Mumbai how to stand in queues. Huge lines bigger than those at Sidhivinayak temple on Tuesdays were seen just for the taste of coffee and the post brag too.

Bottomline is that when it comes to Mumbai, if Starbucks even sold 'Gola wala' sherbet for a fortune, people will line up and go gung ho about it. And the author is one of them too !!

Angel Investors give you Wings !!

Angel Investor, when you hear this word it sounds very interesting and 'out of this world'. An angel investor is NOT an investor with golden wings and a halo. Thats only reserved for the Angels on the Victoria Secret fashion show !!
Rather the definition goes like this ... 'An individual who provides startup capital to a new business and expects a percentage of ownership equity in return'. Who knew Angels were so mean, I have always come across them as something soft and cuddly and white except for those Axe adverts where its a whole new dimension altogether !!

Well for starters Angel Investors are not generic they have specialization amongst themselves too. There are like 'n' kinds of them. Lets have a look at some of them and can we find some of their dopplegangers in real life.

Firstly there are these Core Angels who are individuals with extensive business experience who have operated and owned successful businesses of their own.
We can easily find such core Angels here. For Uday Chopra & Jackie Bhagnani they had one since birth, no need to look elsewhere. Read as Dad.

Then come the High-Tech Angels who know less than these Core Angels but will invest significantly in latest trends of modern technology. No .. no .. it does not mean that Chaganbhai Patel is opening a new cyber cafe for his son Jignesh. By the way, haven't cyber cafes gone out of business ? Genuine Question !!

Next come the Return on Investment Angels, these are primarily concerned with the financial reward of their investments. Its the same case with Real Madrid and their 'Galacticos' .. dont perform and you are out the next season. Sometimes even in the same on a loan to a lesser known English club.

Enthusiast Angels are those 65 year old plus who invest just as a mere hobby. They dont take an active role in management but just want to have fun. My idol, his Royal Highness, Sir Hugh Hefner. Enough Said.

Then there are Professional Angels who are professionally employed or own and who invest in companies in their related field. Professional angels invest in several companies at the same time. King of Good Times Mr. Mallya easily fits here .. ohh wait .. he invests in companies and then tries to make it his own field. Slight twist  but almost the same. Please thoda adjust karo !!

Mentor Angels are these individuals who serve as advisors and mentors to their invested companies. One cannot look beyond Mr. Narayan Murthy. No humour here. Next please.

Finally there are these Generational Angels or the Silver Spoons with Silver Wings. These investors are the second generation offspring of successful families and are typically younger than the average angel investor, but have acquired a significant amount of business expertise from working in the family business. With the current scenario in mind, one cannot even think of any other than Mr. Robert Vadra. Second Generation - Check. Not Offspring but heir to successful family - Check. Younger than average - Double Check (He works out baby !!). Significant amount of business expertise from working in the family business alias Corruption - Raised to infinity Check !!

I am still stuck on the first para ... those Angels are way better !! *Nudge Nudge Wink Wink*

The famous Son in Law in Parallel Universe

Parallel Universe theory has bemused one and all. The creme de la creme of social thinkers have come and fallen prey to the lure of what is it like on the other side !! So why not us .. let us visualize India style !!

In Parallel Universe, there exists one powerful species who has and always exploited the commons due to their corrupt minds and supreme power. Behold Mr. Hazare and his pesky sidekick Mr. Kejriwal.

Countless allegations prone, they are sitting on piles of cash & digesting and burping out one scam after the other.

Standing tall against him is our hero, the Gandhian thinking and khaki clad Robert .. Robert Vadra and his wife Priyanka. They have this hot blooded brother in law, Rahul who dropped out of school, not due to bad grades and attitude but due to poverty and not paying fees in time. 

Robert Vadra along with Priyanka and Rahul would be on a hunger strike at Ram Leela maidan for the upliftment of poor and their basic rights. Fighting against the atrocities of people like the Kejriwals and the Hazares. The entire nation would ... not be by there side and would mind their business and move along with the daily hustle and bustle of the city. So in short they were on their own and with few handful locals by their side.

Government had this tag of being very aggressive and took prompt decisions against the bad people. Once in a while the Government would surprise people by announcing some lame decisions like FDI in Retail etc.

Here Government took their stance and compromised for a hanging-in-the-middle decision. After breaking their fast subject to Government approval they will go have a 3 bucks lemon juice from the vendor outside and reach their 8x10 place on the outskirts of Delhi where Priyanka would cook dinner for the three. Some uncanny similarity is that Mr. Rahul is used to eating from the  poor man's plate #Not.

Meanwhile, Mr. Kejriwal and Mr. Hazare plump as they are physically are also flexing their financial muscles and getting all sorts of favours from this organization called LFD primarily into sponsoring National level Marbles championship 'IML' - Indian Marbles League. Yeah yeah .. Buildings and other things are just subsidiaries. So basically Hazares and the clan with LFD offering a major KLPD on the people !!

For further development in this, only time will tell or our channel '3 Weeks 2 Days Tak' with cameraguy Some Pandey and reporter Some Tripathi. If you like this coverage SMS Y/N on 420 and we will pay you back your cost of SMS.

This just in: Mr. Kejriwal just issued this statement "Democratic Republic of Mango has scarcity of People eating Bananas" what it means only time will tell !!

Mr. Manmohan Singh does not speak. Yes here too !!

FDI : Finally the Day is In !!!

Government of India finally came out with much awaited declaration to allow 51 percent FDI in retail. The declaration seemed to be more of an adaptation from Karan Johar movie with that much drama rather than directly from Prime Minister's office. We have seen the inspiring 'We made a tryst with destiny' and the 'I have a dream' by the Nehrus and the Luther Kings of the world but 'Money does not grow on trees' seems like a tamer version of standard IV English essay of Delhi Public school student.

So why Retail sector ? The Retail sector of India is vast, and has huge potential for growth and development, as the majority of its constituents are as unorganized as Indian team batting lineup in T20s. The retail sector of India handles about $250 billion every year, and is expected by the know how to reach to $660 billion by the year 2015. The business in the organized retail sector of India, is to grow most and faster at the rate of 15-20% every year. Thats the exact YOY growth figure of sale of parking tickets of multiplexes when Rajnikanth movie is in session.

The retail sector of India contributes about 15% to the national GDP, and employs a massive workforce of it, after the agriculture sector. And who can forget the fact that it acts as a new avenue for some politicians to fill their pockets. Lets go FDI way .. Funds for Daily Intake !! Yayy !!

Obviously the announcement was meted by huge positive response from the opposition who lauded the decision and offered full support #NOT .. So as expected like any other Saas-Bahu lingering drama, the opposition and even the allies barked and woofed and hoped for a roll back. But to no avail TILL NOW.

So it stays, 51 percent but limited to 53 cities specially identified which the Goverment feels can cope up infrastructure wise. So the Walmarts & the CarreFours of the World are rejoicing with moist eyes and  cheques in hand ready to invest.

So lets take a look at the upside. This step will bring modern technology to the country and improve rural infrastructure to the maximum. The most important thing is for the farmer. Owing to superior technology the wastage of his produce would be minimal and this extra produce can be sold in domestic markets for more revenue. The farmers will get fair prices from the giants of the markets and lets just hope its not a false promise from those who are just tourists and dont give a fish about where India goes. And yeah Goverment earns too. Obviously we are not that selfless.

The downside is .. yes there has to be a downside .. that these giants would flex their money muscles and use our lands for their benefit and totally forget about the domestic products. Then there are countless middlemen or as some may call them meddle-men to cause discomfort. Even Ranjeet & MacMahon were better as compared to these villains. Also there are many people employed by Government, be educated or semi educated but the Walmarts and the Tescos will always want the smartest of Gangarams and Tukarams !! The kirana going out of action factor is still there.

Whatever it maybe, we cannot deny that since a decade malls and departmental stores have always shown their existence and that did not cause the kiranas to go out of business. This phase will also come and go. So Keep Calm and let the Big boys Enter !!!

The Golden Pompous

Ohh the title bears similarity with a Hollywood movie .. with the animals speaking the mood !! Well its almost the same, the Bulls n the Bears have spoken and yeah Gold is worth its wait .. oops I meant weight !!

Well the gold prices which scaled record highs in the month of August had investors going gaga in the US and Europe. Investors preferred the yellow metal over the fickle minded equity markets.

Priced at Rs. 27136 per 10 gms in January this year, Gold is now enjoying premium price of Rs. 31219 per 10 gms as of September.Now even that cloud is wondering why dint I wait for the golden lining. Although this demand somehow fizzed out in the latter first half of the year largely thanks to slowdown in India & China. It seems like there are no mahurats available for weddings in Kerala !!

Its quite a stat that India & China account for 45% of global demand. Why are Chinese investing so much in Gold rather go and invest in Jackie Chan or Jet Li movies. However investment demand for Gold in particular has fallen in the two Asian giants off late. Gold has acted like that faithful Ramukaka or Deendayal giving steady returns in India over the years. While sensex moved like Abhishek Bachchan's career graph, Gold was the Rahul Dravid of all commodities.

Since Gold prices are denominated in terms of Dollars the equation becomes as clear as an Akshay Kumar movie. The more you see him the less you see other characters in action. Likewise the increase in the price of Gold means a big jolt for Dollar among other currencies.

Under these circumstances come a new wave in the market, the Gold ETFs. This product helps the gold crazy nation to accumulate gold one step at a time with minimum risk of theft or cheating. Transparency being a USP, Gold ETFs have no tax hassles and can become an Indian's best friend if welcomed with open arms.

But no matter what the price is Indians will not end their fascination for the precious metal. Indians are crazy about owning gold. No wonder, that the physical gold held by households in India is more than 15,000 tons, which is the largest in the world. The daughters will continue to get married laden with gold. The middle aged dad will always invest in Gold as a long term investment inspite of better investment options. And yes the festivals, our rich heritage will force even the sane of all to get lured away by the yellow metal. If this madness is not enough, the devotees move up one step ahead and actually are giving gold to Gods.

Hitch'Hike' no more 'Diesel'worthy !!

After pampering its more glorious brother, The Petrol, the government finally paid some heed to the neglected sibling and restored parity thereby ending an unsaid family feud !! Petrol vs Diesel.

The recent hike in Diesel prices was perhaps a step to decrease the monetary difference between the two fuels. In a way Government acted like a Robin hood trying to diminish the difference between the rich and the poor.

However, there is an alarming difference. Hikes in Petrol prices come as often as hundreds flowing from Virat Kohli's bat whether its a Test or an ODI. On the other hand, Diesel hike is like an Ashish Nehra 6 wicket haul, you know that it occured but have to strain your memory to actually recollect its existence.

So the Prime Minister and the GOI took a gutsy step is what they said, but PM will lose his guts for opening his mouth for the first time they never said !!
Agreed that it was a bold step and that there will be no rollbacks even if the grumpy Bengalan loses her vocal cords while agitating, but it had to be. Hikes in Petrol had reached its saturation and there was no way it could bear more. Poor Petrol seemed like that 10th standard kid who is loaded with IIT entrance studies.

But the fact still remains, Diesel increased by Rs. 5 and to add to it rationing in LPG as well. Not the ideal scenario for the truck driver with a joint family. Loss on the road and off the road too !! Poor bugger !!
And coming directly to the point - our interest - well for starters the diesel car segment will raise a huge hue and cry increasing the prices of cars regards to or regardless of the increase in production cost. Basic necessities which come to our doorstep in a diesel infused vehicle will see a rise. *Shopkeepers like this*

As for the LPG 'reforms', the family heads now have a new line on their brow. How to tackle the 6 cylinder crisis. This is much bigger than the Asian crisis of 1997 or even the Sub prime crisis of 2008. No more fancy items in order to save fuel so that the family does not need to invest in more cylinders at exorbitant prices.
So now there is a clear cut definition for any average family guy. It goes something like this. An average family guy can be defined as one with a 2 cylinder scooter, a 4 cylinder vehicle and a 6 cylinder family.

Scams n Scandals: A documentation nightmare

With the onset of these scams and scandals all round, there is a popular trend practiced by the Indian media to coin each one of these. We have the PornGate & the very recent CoalGate !!

But we definitely need a better naming system going forward and especially at the speed with which these politicians are indulging in these scams. Yeah indulging seems an appropriate word as these gluttons really relish these opportunities.

So what could be this naming system. A naming system should be as such that a Configuration management anchor of any CMMI level 5 company should also be proud. No loopholes !!

With files and reams of paper being wasted just to document the extent of these scams and their retrospective effects, its wise to make it all electronic right at the word go. In the essence of time saving, the party in question aka the politician should give the green signal to the documentation authorities the time he starts the scam. Assumption: Our law system is and will be on top of their level of incompetence. As for the 'Assumption', even our Finance papers need assumptions then why should my blog lag behind.

As my thinking goes, every scam should be denoted by a specific 10 numbered Alpha numeric combination so that all the records stay intact and distinguished at the same time. We dont want to take credit for someones hardwork, neither do we want to misplace someone else's credit. Yeah sarcasm galore !!!

So the pattern would be something like this XXX-##-XX-### where X stands for an alphabet & # for a number.

The system would be as simple as it suggests. Afterall our incompetent authorities cant find the root causes, atleast the documentation should not give them headaches.

The first three alphabets will be the code for the scam - a sort of alias. Let us consider an example. The Commonwealth scam can be denoted by 'CWG' while the CoalGate by 'CLG'. This originated first but was kept under wraps. The NSE/BSE ticker came much late. The prime focus here being that it sets across a common platform for things going on further.

Second come the 2 digits and the following two alphabets which represent the year of the scam and the details that go alongwith. Say Telecom scam started in 2010 so the base year will be considered. But we here are the liberal kind and we do not discourage them from making further bifurcations in the scheme of things. Even the Hindi movies have sequels then why deny these innocent politicians. So the two Alphabets denote the subsections going right from A to Z and continuing till AA till ZZ. As mentioned we dont want to deny the right to an independent scam as it is free India afterall. Cartoonists can go to hell but our beloved politicians need their claim to fame.

Finally the last but definitely not the least, the set of 3 digits which gives the number of documents for the particular scam. Scamsters please take note that dont be so 'beat around the bush' guys and try to cover the scam in less number of documents. Its more like have some shame not for the scam but in terms of saving electronic/cloud space for fellow scamsters.

So dear Politicians please help us in our process of efficient handling of your documents and give your utmost support. We will be forever obliged.

Disclaimer: This is just a temporary solution. Any changes for the betterment in the system can be brainstormed upon with the me and the Politician incharge. Thanks !!

Who 'Flip'ped the 'Kart' ??

India is currently witnessing a golden period when it comes to Ecommerce websites. These sites are like emergence of a wada pav wala during monsoon, one every block. No matter which website you visit, educational or sports oriented, our very own ecommerce sites are there to welcome you. Yebhi, Wohbhi, MyKart, Yourkart etc. Everyone is searching for a stable business model but to no avail and please dont talk about discounts !! Discounts are being offered with the same magnitude and frequency as that of rebirths of Ekta Kapoor serial heroes !!

Till now there was some hope and that was the poster boy of this Dotcom boom i.e. *drumroll* Flipkart !!

But now even Flipkart might be in trouble. By the looks of it, Flipkart looks a solid foundation with considerable profits & sizeable market share but infact its a company in dire need of funds and is working on negative cash flows.Flipkart has already gobbled up $181 million from two separate Venture capitalist funding and the hunger still prevails.

Accel Partners & Tiger Global are very much in the mix with 48% holding after their investment while Bansals (the mom-dad of Flipkart) hold around 37% in the brand. With this share, its difficult for them to negotiate a deal to save their baby. Flipkart who currently has a revenue of $350 million was having a profit margin deficit and only recently got to a 2-3% profit margin that too after extension of product catalogue. Thats the main reason they cannot get listed on the local stock exchange and get money in through IPO owing to the stringent entry norms. So one of the lucrative options they have left is to get listed abroad or sell off the business and go for Char Dhaam yatra !!

So consider this current scenario where Flipkart is looking for funds from people and people do come in handy not just by buying books at discounted rates but investing in the brand too. How would that go if some of our country's finest lend their hand and in return look for Flipkart to for some inspiration out of their business model to get their business done? Lets take a sneak peek !!

Our ministers will be the first to seize the opportunity (as always) and take help of the 5000 odd delivery men to transport their black money from one hand to the other. Obviously the question marks will be there on how legitimate the investments are !!

Next our various sports teams in India especially the Hockey team after its disastrous performance at Olympics will provide some funds and in return will wear Flipkart on their jerseys. The primary motive being that they will deliver on time.

Next in line would be our not so successful actors like Fardeen Khan & Harman Baweja who would invest in this ecommerce venture and take lessons from them about how to diverse their portfolio with more things to offer than just one 'blank face' before the camera !!

Not far behind would be our directors who would look to induce the 'Pay after delivery' system with respect to the payments of our heroines and their obese meddlesome mothers.

Also film distributors would look to learn and adopt the '30 day moneyback guarantee' from Flipkart if the movie does not do well.

Finally and as usual in the end, the mango people will make their small bid towards this cause by contributing the usual way i.e. pay for the items on show. Be it books or electronic items, there is no dispute that Flipkart is one of the names on everyone's mouths. Afterall little drops of water make the mighty ocean !!

An Autobiography of The Indian Rupee !!!

Hey, I am the Indian Rupee. The official currency of India. But nowadays its nothing official about it. Even so that I am cracking punchlines which are stolen from soft drink brands !!! Any speaker on any electronic media just bajaoes me to no end.

Everywhere I look its just down, down and down and poor Mr. Pranabda with his entourage is pulling me up. But he also gave up and now has risen to the 'level of incompetence'. So now that makes it two finance pros contributing nothing to this country. Enter Quick Gun Chidambaram !!!

Till some time I did not even have existence on paper, those long faced accountants used to write 'Rs' against a sum of money to represent me. So down graded you see !! Thank God for Uday Kumar for 'coining' my existence .. nice wordplay there *pats back*

Recently I heard there was a big debate as to who will complete a century first Sachin Tendulkar, Price of Petrol or My Price !! For a moment I felts very nice to be appreciated or is it depreciated, but then I realized it is all not very simple. The Dollar and the Euro were apparently taking their revenge for us naming our underwear brands after them. But in the end, Thank God for SRT that he saved us the blushes. Ohh wait ... my sentence just got into a circular loop. God save me .. err or is it Sachin !?!?!

But for a moment greed took over me the moment I got to know that once you turn 60 you get tax benefits. Obviously in this kind of scenario who would not want a safe and secure future. My paisa my baby just has me. I am the single father every paisa is looking upto. Some of my loved ones even seized to exist. They have been replaced by the likes of  'Mentos' & 'Chloromints'. Please 'dont ask again'.

Although it feels nice that everyone is talking about you. The RBIs n the SEBIs and even the non speaking 'on mute' person sitting at the top. Wow !!! I made him speak (note to self: Put it up on my resume).

But I have this sentimental side of mine too. Time and again I have been the reason these scamsters & corrupt politicians get greedy and even put my image in jeopardy. People call me all sorts of names, the likes of 'Black money' and 'Root of all evil'. It hurts. Although I am ready to take all the brunt if the society benefits. No no .. I am not forcing Tushar Kapoor to quit acting !! That is even beyond me.

So what now .. well I just got promoted. The government just featured me in a new avatar - a brand new coin #10 and its really very shiny.

Just hope that the government just keeps on pampering me like this afterall I am the national currency boss !!!

Ekdum saras che Captain !!!

Simply Fly is this man's vision but he has his feet firmly on the ground. The man who revolutionized the Airlines sector is back with a bang.

Captain Gopinath is in the news again this time for initiating the domestic airlines in Gujarat. And what a saras plan it seems to be. Gujarat being the hub of all the economic activity nowadays, the Shahs and the Patels will have no problems in travelling from Surat to Jamnagar. The airline is called Deccan Shuttle and will start 12 flights a day between nine cities such as Ahmedabad, Surat, Jamnagar, Bhavnagar and Kandla with five 12-seater Grand Caravans.

It is his third foray into Indian Airline business with an almost perfect report card. This man knows his exit well and plans everything to perfection.

So what does Captain have to do to make this airline a hit ??

For starters, yeah for starters he should include a top class and continuously rejuvenating inventory of jalebi and fafda. Nothing can keep a Gujju bhai happy than fresh jalebi - fafda in the mornings !!!

The khaman and the dhoklas should keep on coming as part of the munchies by the sides and not to forget the spiced buttermilk. Thats a must.

The flight timings should be arranged properly so as to no Gujju bhai and ben misses their daily soaps. You dont want to infuriate the lady of the house on basis of her TV soap. Then your payment and incentives are in a fix.

Also there should be a small temple in the aeroplane as all Baas need their bit of prayers and meditation done especially in the morning flights.

The speakers should play the latest tracks by Falguni Pathak & Preety-Pinky dandiya songs or else the refund clause will be triggered. You cannot simply take out Dandiya from Gujarati person's life.

The business class TVs should only play NDTV Profit & CNBCs of this world unless this is ensured the flight wont take off.

If Capt Gopinath ensures that such steps are taken then no one can stop the Deccan Shuttle to rise beyond the loss making horizons of the Indian Airline Industry.

The Legend of Gopinath once created major airwaves with Air Deccan but this venture will definitely include heating more microwaves than creating more airwaves.

P.S: King of Good Times likes this !!!

Maruti's love affair with Manesar

Maruti was the name of the car of a middle class guy and for some it still is. Maurti Suzuki ltd in all its lifetime has been one of the pioneering figure in Indian Car industry somewhat like a Dravid but now has been upstaged by the Kohlis & Rainas of this world.
Add to that the injuries and by injuries I mean the damages & conflicts it has been suffering for some time now especially from Manesar - the heart of Maruti Suzuki Ltd.
So when I write this episode, firstly I remember my Ecommerce professor who have been using this example as a part of his discussion and we did not understand the depth of it. Well now I do.
So the current scenario is bad. Conflicts, damages, deaths, plant shutdown, share prices down and what not. But was it the same all along ? The Maruti-Manesar love affair is long one. Since 2007, Maruti is enjoying this live in relationship and the oodles of romance followed.
And like those naughty vendors who disturb the romancing couples in gardens, the vendors of all bought out components fr Maruti cars just dwelled on the outskirts of Manesar to facilitate the relationship. Seats, glass, steering systems, electronic units, radiators .. you name them and the companies which make them are there.
About 70 percent of Maruti's 200 odd vendors are based in Gurgaon-Manesar belt. Its like for your ration, they have ten odd baniyas at their disposal then whos going to go to the mall for shopping.
Year after year the fruits of relationship (read as new car models) came into this world and the car industry accepted then with open hearts and stamped them as legitimate. The infrastructure which Maruti has built  is impossible to replicate in short period. Plans are made with a view till 2013.
But now is the time of domestic violence where the important cog of this relationship i.e. the trust has gone for a toss. And there stands this Gujju with open arms and strong infrastructure arms to steal Maruti from the clutches of Manesar.
So then how will Maruti fare in this new relationship ? The deal is struck. 700 acres of land near Mehsana and forecasted spending of 4000 crore rupees by 2015-16. But the love still persists. The management is not in favour of shutting the plant down although it has been shut indefinitely for now. The major factor is the skilled labour availibility as any local found is interested in partnership and not to work for them. Silly Gujarati business mind cheapshot.
But the fact still remains. Maruti to Gujarat FC from Manesar FC is like that interesting transfer which the entire Indian Political environment is watching. It almost seems that the transfer papers are signed and Maruti just needs to go for a medical. #FootballingMetaphor

Future - of the Future, for the Future, by the Biyanis !!!

Theres no doubt that Kishore Biyani is one of the better entrepreneurs and by better I mean that he knows how to pursue an idea and more importantly if it does not work he knows how to walk away from it.
For any entrepreneur, he or she should know when to look towards the exit or will end up like Akash Chopra trying his luck with all the IPL teams just to get a look in. Exit mate exit !!!
But Mr. Biyani saw what was heading his way and quickly realised the after effects. More like Dravid than Akash Chopra !!
So then what happened to the empire built by Mr. Biyani ??
The most famous brand of the Biyanis - Big Bazaar is still going strong. India's first hyper market chain has close to 200 stores across India. It is the Messi or the Ronaldo of Future group as it rakes in half of Future Group's sales. Now they are looking to expand more and wisely so, close to 70 odd outlets in the coming two years. Obviously they need the capital and thats why the major changes all around but a minority partner might come in too.

Pantaloons comes in next and that too with some healthy margins. Stupendous sales accompanied by excellent brand recognition, pantaloons is like that kid in school who always comes in the top 5 and is content with his/her showing. Then the sale to Birlas but yeah with a 25 percent stake still intact is definitely a win and with rebranding of stores to follow.
Then there is Future Capital Holding for which a big decision had to be taken. Biyani realised that FCH did not have a sound business model and made the right timed exit. In came Warburg Pincus and reduced Biyani's debt by Rs. 500 crores.
Biyani is also on the thought process of exiting their venture with Generalii. But a buyer is a big headache.
Anyways Italy is not the destination nowadays. Its like that lane of Wasseypur where no one wants to tread along.
And there is Staples too which is again a joint venture.Mr. Biyani plans to use a put option to raise Rs. 200 crore. But 200 crores for stationery will it be a right decision .. why would school kid go to a mall just to buy a pen or a ruler when he can get it at a stones throw away at the nearest nukkad ??
But all in all Mr. Biyani has taken on the bull of debt by his horns and that has caught everyone by surprise.
Suddenly, Bi Ya N(i)ot to be seems the question !!!

Petrol ki Saade Saati #7.50

Government announces a hike of Rs. 7.50 in petrol and suddenly everyone go in Sonakshi Sinha style .. Gaadi chalane se darr nahi lagta saheb, petrol bharvaane se lagta hain. With citizens already feeling the wrath of taxes from the government & heat from the nature, this just is perfect as a part of the conspiracy against us !!!

But like every other thing in India petrol also felt the need to compete. Petrol price did not want the Rupee price to catch up with it, it looks for now.

So what does the Indian common man do to come out of this petrol saade saati.

Firstly, empty your petrol tanks from the respective type of vehicles and sell it for this price. Ready profit mate.

Secondly, employ cheap labour maybe one or two people to push your car around .. That is much cheaper than putting petrol in your car. Plus you would be that proud citizen who created employment in this bad scenario.

And for the most important part, forget about owning a new car in these circumstances. I for one has donated my toy car collection to my neighbour's kid. Not taking chances !!!

Rioters will have to make way for kerosene as the thing has to be burnt down anyways ... who gives a shit if it is with petrol.

Movies will have to pay too ... now the 'abla naari' type mother will no longer pour petrol all over her white saree that will make way for animation & green screen effects. As hiring a technology expert along with his to and fro flight fare & accommodation will be much cheaper.

In the coming days, we will get to hear headlines like Mr. Manmohan Singh has started his tour to meet car owners to pacify them after recent turn of events. Small petrol parcels will be dropped from the sky through aeroplanes on 10th of every month. Its just 100 ml dont get so excited. Police will conduct raids on petrol pumps just because the rate of petrol is 'high'.

So then what seem to be alternatives to this problem. Well for starters diesel seems to be the poor man's fuel nowadays. No hike for a long time. Dont laugh bitches, your time will come too.

The better option will be to use the public transport but it will be more stuffed than a fat kid's mouth in an all you can eat buffet. Then there come the bicycles & the tricycles but those are just the social publicity pangs reserved for the high society counterparts. And who will pedal all the way from Suburbs to Sobo for work. Poor guy will reach the next day !!!

So next time when the petrol pump attendant asks me how much money worth of petrol to be put in, I am going to opt for the easier option. Just sprinkle petrol worth 5 bucks on the car itself I am bloody going to burn the car !!!

That just leaves us to one solution called as Work from Home. That is the most efficient way saving both money & fuel but saves fat as well that too at all the wrong places.

All in all the Petrol hike is absurd and yeah ... Anna over to you !! Chalo Ram Leela Maidan !!

Once a King of Good Times ... now a Pauper to Pernod Ricard !!

We all know who the King of Good Times is ... No .. not Sid Mallya, seeing the current scenario he seems to be the King of Bad times ... well it is his dad Mr. Vijay Mallya. But once self proclaimed liquor baron and head of United Breweries has to play second  fiddle to Mr. Param Uberoi !!

 Param who ?? Well get used to this name as he is starting to make his name and he has dethroned the King. Param Uberoi is the head of Pernod Ricard which is a direct competitor in this 'Spirited' affair. Pernod Ricard is the umbrella under which the popular Seagrams brand comes in.

So what makes the two gentlemen different ?? For starters Uberoi focussed on his bread n butter or rather his alcohol n liquor giving Royal Stag a name on the international front. Absolut so kicked every other vodka brand in its nuts. Au contraire McDowells have seen a not so big growth but yeah they are up there. But yeah the bottomline is that Mallya is not the only big fish in the sea.

So when the heroes .. Royal Stag, Blenders Pride & Imperial Blue started flex their muscles for their action sequences .. UB had to beef up their baddies the likes of McDowells, Royal Challenge & Signature to compete. Plus then there was a crafty pricing strategy which made UB look like Piyush Chawla in front of Uberoi's Gayle.

So 'Have I made it large?' ... yeah indeed .. the high stakes marketing campaign bore fruits at the right time. So on one end the right ambassadors got in profits and on the other side Bollywood heroines just brought bad luck in good times.

Now what ahead ... UB still leads the sales but Pernod Ricard is hot on their heels and yeah there are many differences as well.

Mr Uberoi just owns cars and not a fleet of debt ridden airplanes. So what comes out of alcohol stays in alcohol business. Common Mr. Uberoi you are playing safe, make it large get one for you .. eh !!

Secondly, Uberoi & PR dont own a failing IPL cricket team which rides on just one man doing their business .. Bring along the Gaylestorm !!! And yeah the rest of the squad is so bored that dont get their chance in cricket so they prefer playing different games of molestation getting 'rave' reviews.

Last but not the least there is Mr. Siddharth Mallya who is making a habit of taking the limelight for all the wrong reasons. Dating a filmstar .. Check ... Endless partying ... Check ... Dressing like a transvestite .. Check .. Helping Dad in his business ... Well we'll keep that open !!!

So when Mr. Mallya came up to Mr. Uberoi with a JV offer rather than accepting, he turned to Barney Stinson for inspiration and thus the 'Challenge Accepted'.

Now is the time that Pernod Ricard is very well placed in terms of their business and Mallya is paying heavily  just to maneuver his toy cars & aeroplanes.