Not mere Cricketers !!!

Once Sir Don Bradman said that 'May cricket continue to flourish and spread its wings. The world can only be richer for it'. And richer it got. Right from Packer's World Tourney to the ongoing IPL, cricketers are minting money. But what if it wasnt the case and cricket was upstaged by another game say croquet. Folks, please settle down its not going to happen, just imagine !! Then in that case what do these already rich, situational poor cricketers do ? Alternate profession calling ..

Some of the past cricketers have already made their transition in other facets and trades of life successfully and then there is somebody like Vinod Kambli and his movie career. No no, Agent Vinod was not the one. It was Annarth which is also how one can describe his movie career.

Take the instance of Pathan brothers - Yusuf & Irfan. Both explosive allrounders, one hits all bowlers out of the park while other troubles the best of the best batsmen with his swing and guile. These brothers are always ready for action and always into the thick of things which makes me think that they will have an awesome alternate career as action directors like our very own Abbas Mustan. Clad in such whites that even Tide and Ariel would run for cover and gold chains around the neck. With beefy dudes ready to put their bodies on the line and pretty girls waiting for their directions, all they say is Lights, Camera & Action !!

Then there is Ishant Sharma. Gods answer to a child's query when he asked how would a horse man look like. Ishant Sharma, the tall lanky galloping paceman is and will be a force to reckon with when it comes to pace bowling on green tops and has a good resume when it comes terrorizing some of India's worthy opponents. This apart he has a brilliant scope and fit when it comes to acting in mythological serials. He can become a low budget movie's Jesus Christ or even one of either Nakul or Sahdev. If the project has severe budget constraints, he can portray all the Pandavas as well as 34 Kauravas as well. The only need would be some pillows around the body to play Gadadhari Bheem. Last we heard Kanti Shah was frantically calling him for one of his esteemed projects.

Joginder Sharma - the Indian cricketing Legend who bowled us to T20 glory. Period. Frankly thats the only thing his record says. What a claim to fame it was and made him the darling of the country. But Jogi babu has and by now must have embraced his alternate profession. He can be the brand ambassador of pity and compassion. He can be India's official face when we take our pleas to the World Bank for funding and when we apply to International Sports Committees for letting us host Sports events. What Manmohan is to silence, Jogi Babu is to pity.

Shahbaz Nadeem is one upcoming slow left arm bowler who represents Jharkhand and Delhi Daredevils. Some of his performances and his miserly bowling have made people sit and take notice. But Shahbaz Nadeem has that killer persona, quite literally. He can be that second in command to Sardar Khan or whoever is the main male protagonist in the next edition of Wasseypur series and chant all along 'Keh ke lunga sabki' in the entire movie. If not there he has the sequels of Shor in the city or Shangai to look for as well.

Then there are Sanju Samson and Sachin Baby. Both are upcoming talented batsmen hailing from Kerala who play for Rajasthan Royals in the ongoing IPL. However both seem to be those guys who run a makeshift hierarchical home turned resort out of Goa or Pondichery. One can only see them as those cool flowery shirt clad lads saying 'Welcome to India' to each passing tourist.

Amit Mishra, India's premier leg spinner who not only has performed consistently at domestic level but also is the only spinner ever to claim 3 hat tricks in IPL so far. This master spinner is known for having one of the better googly ball but his alternate career is a very conventional one. Mishraji, as some call him fondly, seems that average joe kind of guy who sits behind the table of a municipal office and demands a small bribe at the fall of a pin. Mishraji will arrive one hour late and leave one hour early and that pot belly needs atleast one hour of lunch. No hat tricks here, every business will strictly be under the table. Silence please !!

Ashok Dinda is the head band wielding fast bowler from Bengal and has also represented India at the highest level. Off late he has proved to be a batsman's paradise. With his black hairband and coupled with a mosquito netted vest and a lungi, he is that around the corner butcher who specializes in those special cuts of meat. And where will he get a better assistant than his Bengal team mate 'Shammi' Ahmad to deliver those cuts on demand to the residents of the area. Gourmet delights for everyone.

Finally there is Ashish Nehra. No list can be completed without his mention and this is no difference. Nehra was once a premium left arm fast bowler India was proud to have the services of. Who can forget his 6 wicket haul which blew England away. Now he is having his renaissance period and is back to business with the IPL. Well, owing purely to his teeth he can have a variety of alternate careers. For Nehra it might be a regular set of teeth but for everyone else it is one versatile set of tools. Need to plough your field - Call Nehra. Need to dig sand for building sand castles - Call Nehra. Need to open a bottle of beer - Call Nehra. It is as if he comes with this note attached with him 'Nehra Mein Hoon, Daant Idhar Hain'. 

**All the images are courtesy Google and links suggested by Google. Although yours truly has tweaked those images to match the contents of the blog

My Dream is to Fly !!

Yes its not a mere English hit son .. the dream indeed is to fly .. the dream is to rise as a Phoenix from the ashes and not stay a mere Kingfisher anymore. The Indian aviation industry has been caught in the Kratos-esque vice grip of high oil prices on one hand and competitive air fares on the other. The quarterly results clearly show that all the high soaring airlines have reached an all time low barring IndiGo. So is there a turnaround in the offing, lets investigate.

First and foremost, India is abuzz with Tata, India's premier brand entering into a JV with Air Asia. It is the first foreign interest in the large Indian aviation sector.Air Asia finally received regulatory approvals from Foreign Investment Promotion board to invest in this venture. Air Asia's stake is 49 percent and they plan to start the services from Chennai by end of 2013. Major Whistle Podu moment this.

The new airline venture will be in partnership with the Tata Group and Arun Bhatia-promoted Telestra Tradeplace. Its basically adds three vital components: Name of Tatas, Money from Bhatias and Queens Park Rangers losses from Fernandes. Only the football fanatics will get this joke. Others please google it.

But the experts have given a thumbs up to this joint venture saying that it will help domestic aviation industry grow and offer better deals for the passengers. Only time will tell.

Secondly, Etihad's much awaited buy of equity stake in Jet. Etihad, which is expanding globally, has been in talks over an equity stake in Jet since September after India relaxed ownership rules and allowed foreign airlines to buy up to 49 percent in local carriers. Etihad is however looking for a stake of 24 percent valued at about $330 million. 

The deal promises brighter days for both the parties. For Jet, it will propel them to the top of the pile and add much needed boost of funds. As for Etihad, it will guarantee them presence in India - the potential international commerce hub in the years to come. System well Sheikh-en I must say.

However the deal is poised at a standstill as the businessmen from the Gulf are extra cautious of their investment. There are several instances of past failed forays by Gulf investors into India and Etihad does not wish to be bitten by the same bug. More recent news suggest that August will be the likely time that the knot will be tied. Mind it, this is still a much better love story than Twilight. 

And lastly the never ending Kingfisher saga. The Airports Authority of India has asked the airline to cough out the pending Rs. 300 crores or let the flights remain grounded forever. Nowadays the only things remotely close to Mr. Mallya which are sky high are the sixes being hit by Chris Gayle and Virat Kohli's ego.

The renewal of flying permits seem to be a distant dream and the maintenance of the aeroplanes much costlier than Sid Mallya. I truly sympathize with Mallya Sr. but government and SBI have not given up on him. Government with their vested interests has to open up new avenues to get in foreign money have announced 49 percent partnership and SBI are selling heaps of paper scrap earlier know as shares/scrips of Kingfisher Airlines Ltd. 

So its not a strange thing that at the recently concluded IPL6 auction, Mr. Mallya insisted upon auctioning his Kingfisher Airlines and even his heir Mr. Sid Mallya !! 

So this is the current situation of the Indian Aviation industry with Ajit Singh Chaudhary at his helm. The other Ajit is pissing in the dams while for this Ajit the scenario is damn pissing. India shinning !!

Gentleman's Game or new Circus in Town !!

India is a nation which breathes sports and the mother of all sports here is Cricket. Well thats wrong on some levels. If cricket is introduced as a religion, people wont think twice to jump across and adopt it in the same way how Dhoni has adopted Ravindra Jadeja. Even the most minute of any cricketing activity takes place, people sit and take notice. Just no mere noticing facts, but we will take those couple of steps ahead and chew and ruminate these facts. Finally spit the by product, sometimes its a piece of news or moral while some other time its a whole individual. Now I feel how Aditya Pancholi feels. Bollywood is so cruel !!

So when India witnessed one of its precursors to another Cricket-esque circus i.e. IPL auction, the excitement of the commoners knew no bounds. For a country where the movie heroes take oaths of being above any kind of money and lust, these cricketers go under the hammer as easy as taking candy away from a baby. Are these cricketers mere puppets in this entire glamour show ? Lets ask Mr. Manmohan Singh ... ... ... ... Ok .. so moving on !! *Awkward*

So even if the world at large seems to struggle in terms of economic conditions, here at the IPL auction there were some deep pockets being emptied on the table and everyone was all in !! This being the sixth auction, the nine teams which were a part of this gala event spent a combined total of $11.89 million (Rs.64 crore approximately) on purchasing 37 players, as against 25 players at last year's event. So the usual suspects were there, the MIs and the CSKs but apart from that there was one major change. The Deccan's charge no more existed and was replaced by Sun TV channel sponsored Sun Risers - A new team from Hyderabad.

The story of the entire auction was Aussie Aussie Aussie !! Yay Yay Yay !! The major coup being Glenn Max (All is) Well. The Victorian all rounder fetched a massive $1 million from Mumbai Indians. The biggest price in the auction. Melbourne just witnessed the Maxwell family doing a series of cartwheels and standing sommersaults on the streets. Also there were big paydays for some of the little heard Aussie boys like Kane Richardson, Coulter-Nile and Ben Laughlin. Not to forget Mr. Punter - Ricky Ponting who will be seen sharing tele space with the Little Master Sachin Tendulkar himself when they open the innings for Mumbai Indians in the coming season. Some of the other prominent players to go under the hammer where Michael Clarke, Darren Sammy and Ajantha Mendis. Abhishek Nayar was the top grossing Indian with almost 7 times the base amount. The comic relief of the day went to Sun RISERS when they signed Quinton De KOCK .. quite a match this !!

Setting up this grand affair only cost millions of bucks plus the hospitality of the bidders. And taking a leaf out of this money spinning book, people are setting up their own versions for every sport. There is already a Hockey League in place based on this. iLeague (football)was already there, trust me it was. Now we have Badminton and Boxing planning competitions and leagues on similar business model. Even our Bollywood celebrities are not far behind. They have their own cricket variation - Celebrity Cricket League with the Veer Marathis & Bhojpuri Dabangs. Time will come when there will be Kite Flying Super League or Marbles Champions League. 

The names or the players that were auctioned were not surprising. After all they are talented individuals who have done well for club or country. However the money spent on them and the manner in which it is spent. Phenomenal amount of money is spent sometimes even on unproven talent. Even Ted Mosby's kids have a better probability of knowing their mother than some of these franchisees knowing how their players can deliver. Gone are the days when the Dames & the Sires were sitting in the pavilions at Lords and appreciating each master cricket shot with an applause set of three claps. Now its all cheer leaders, DJs and vuvuzelas. But life comes a full circle and yours truly is pretty sure that those days will come again. And yes Mr. W.G. Grace is waiting for you !!

Once a King of Good Times ... now a Pauper to Pernod Ricard !!

We all know who the King of Good Times is ... No .. not Sid Mallya, seeing the current scenario he seems to be the King of Bad times ... well it is his dad Mr. Vijay Mallya. But once self proclaimed liquor baron and head of United Breweries has to play second  fiddle to Mr. Param Uberoi !!

 Param who ?? Well get used to this name as he is starting to make his name and he has dethroned the King. Param Uberoi is the head of Pernod Ricard which is a direct competitor in this 'Spirited' affair. Pernod Ricard is the umbrella under which the popular Seagrams brand comes in.

So what makes the two gentlemen different ?? For starters Uberoi focussed on his bread n butter or rather his alcohol n liquor giving Royal Stag a name on the international front. Absolut so kicked every other vodka brand in its nuts. Au contraire McDowells have seen a not so big growth but yeah they are up there. But yeah the bottomline is that Mallya is not the only big fish in the sea.

So when the heroes .. Royal Stag, Blenders Pride & Imperial Blue started flex their muscles for their action sequences .. UB had to beef up their baddies the likes of McDowells, Royal Challenge & Signature to compete. Plus then there was a crafty pricing strategy which made UB look like Piyush Chawla in front of Uberoi's Gayle.

So 'Have I made it large?' ... yeah indeed .. the high stakes marketing campaign bore fruits at the right time. So on one end the right ambassadors got in profits and on the other side Bollywood heroines just brought bad luck in good times.

Now what ahead ... UB still leads the sales but Pernod Ricard is hot on their heels and yeah there are many differences as well.

Mr Uberoi just owns cars and not a fleet of debt ridden airplanes. So what comes out of alcohol stays in alcohol business. Common Mr. Uberoi you are playing safe, make it large get one for you .. eh !!

Secondly, Uberoi & PR dont own a failing IPL cricket team which rides on just one man doing their business .. Bring along the Gaylestorm !!! And yeah the rest of the squad is so bored that dont get their chance in cricket so they prefer playing different games of molestation getting 'rave' reviews.

Last but not the least there is Mr. Siddharth Mallya who is making a habit of taking the limelight for all the wrong reasons. Dating a filmstar .. Check ... Endless partying ... Check ... Dressing like a transvestite .. Check .. Helping Dad in his business ... Well we'll keep that open !!!

So when Mr. Mallya came up to Mr. Uberoi with a JV offer rather than accepting, he turned to Barney Stinson for inspiration and thus the 'Challenge Accepted'.

Now is the time that Pernod Ricard is very well placed in terms of their business and Mallya is paying heavily  just to maneuver his toy cars & aeroplanes.