You my friend have been GAARed !!!

'Gaar' means cold in Marathi and that is precisely the condition of Vodafone in the current situation. For a change India and specifically Pranabda is taking a tough stance. Pranabda has the 'I am sexy and I know it' look in this scenario and we are loving it. Its like Pranabda says, 'Yoda ... err Voda .. I am your father' ohh wait .. it was Luke !! but you get the whole point anyways.

So what exactly is this GAAR. GAAR better known as General Anti Avoidance Rules aimed at deterring tax avoidance and would be implemented from April 1st next year. The finance bill said so. So this means Vodafone has to cough out close to 20k crore dollars. Apart from exercising the social norms of retaliation, they have their in their minds given up for sure. Then how would you explain giving the ZooZoos the pink slip and snipping old Tele Matches highlights with cheap commentary and exclaiming that these are the brand new adverts. Thats deifnitely called cost cutting.

So basically GAAR will authorize the tax authorities to proclaim a business arrangement 'impermissible' if they find that it has been done primarily to avoid taxes. Its like we know we hate Ravindra Jadeja but still certifying the reason after seeing him get out hit wicket in the very first match. Then once these arrangements are termed impermissible, then they will be denied tax benefits. More like if you are not 25 you cant 'legally' drink but that does not stop the Good Times to roll !!!

Analysts say that this will give the tax officers unparalleled powers and the likes of Yadavji and Pandeyji are set to increase their property in Patna. But there will definitely be some sort of supervision in our path to India Shining ... or more like India Auditing !!

But one big concern is the amount of FIIs coming into the country. The ill word spreads faster like two idle housewives of the Indian middle class househlods gossipping about the entire society in 5 mins flat. So UK to US, US to Germany, Germany to France and its a goal. Goal of not sending their money to India. But where do they go if not India. China has turned from Gary Coleman to Yao Ming in terms of growth and Pakistan & Bangladesh ... Bitch Please !!!

So after some mails, some telephone calls, some urgent faxes, and some delegates interchanged we have a settlement ... no not the Bangladeshi one near Dharavi ... this is a compromise of sorts. GAAR has been postponed for next year so that it allows government to frame clear cut rules after consultation with stakeholders. So then GAAR changes from being 'General Anti Avoidance Rules' to 'If GLOBE is AFFECTED, ADJUST according to REALITY'.

A Budget to Remember !!!

Mr. George W. Bush once said that 'Clearly it is a budget, it has got a lot of numbers in it'. Well the one presented by Pranabda on March 16, 2012 definitely had a lot of them. But whether they were in favour or not is the question to be asked.

Lets take each case one by one ...

First getting the tax slabs as close to DTC can be regarded as a step well taken but the loss which government will bear (in crores) will be recovered from where or rather whom?

Government feels that non tax revenue will come through mainly two ways ... Disinvestment in state owned companies but with the ONGC fiasco on back of their minds, will LIC or any other such entities come forward to hold Goverment's hand and bail them out ?

Other way is to get money from Auction of 2G & 4G spectrum. However with such problems surfacing with Telenor and other telecom bigwigs are they sure that the auction will be successful ?

Also Vodafone's case with the double taxation agreement trouble has already raised its hood and can severely hurt the auction as well. Will it or wont it ?

There is an increase in service tax which now means that life is going to be more taxed. We are now used to more services than goods so now expect higher bills for anything and everything. Right from advertising agencies charges to telephone bills or maybe AtoZ courier services. So when is the GST coming ?

Custom duty on cars is increased. Hi Nano ... Sonata Ta Ta !!

Also custom duty on gold is increased. Ohh thats why the Punjabi n Tamil wedding markets observed a mourning.

Cigarettes will cost more ... So expect more of Sunil Chetri than John Terry on ur cigarette packs.

Luxury cars as the name suggests will be a luxury.

Branded apparel will be dearer .. so no more shopping for the 'dears'.

Imported bicycles .. eh ... who imports bicycles anyways ... Okk Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander remake on a standstill.

Airline tickets (subject to Plane taking off) will be higher too.

Household appliances will cost higher ... all the henpecked husbands rejoice.

Mobile bills to increase ... how much can it rise anyways ? Challenge Accepted !!

Eating out will be a luxury ... right time to enforce my diet plans.

Pranabda promised that average inflation in the coming year will be 6.4% if crude holds up to $115 a barrel. So my request to all the Arab uncles (uncle Sam too), I did not demand anything till now, first n the last time please help Pranabda in his mission.

Finally, Pranabda also promised that the fiscal deficit will be reduced to 5.1% of GDP this coming year. I hope the promise holds good otherwise India will be on a 'fisal' ... oops fiscal slide.

So with this eventful day I would leave you with this very important letter by our Finance Minister. The letter reads ...

Dear Sachin,

Thanks !!!

Sincerely, Pranabda :)