Showing posts with label Petrol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Petrol. Show all posts

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Hitch'Hike' no more 'Diesel'worthy !!

After pampering its more glorious brother, The Petrol, the government finally paid some heed to the neglected sibling and restored parity thereby ending an unsaid family feud !! Petrol vs Diesel.
The recent hike in Diesel prices was perhaps a step to decrease the monetary difference between the two fuels. In a way Government acted like a Robin hood trying to diminish the difference between the rich and the poor.


However, there is an alarming difference. Hikes in Petrol prices come as often as hundreds flowing from Virat Kohli's bat whether its a Test or an ODI. On the other hand, Diesel hike is like an Ashish Nehra 6 wicket haul, you know that it occured but have to strain your memory to actually recollect its existence.

So the Prime Minister and the GOI took a gutsy step is what they said, but PM will lose his guts for opening his mouth for the first time they never said !!
Agreed that it was a bold step and that there will be no rollbacks even if the grumpy Bengalan loses her vocal cords while agitating, but it had to be. Hikes in Petrol had reached its saturation and there was no way it could bear more. Poor Petrol seemed like that 10th standard kid who is loaded with IIT entrance studies.

But the fact still remains, Diesel increased by Rs. 5 and to add to it rationing in LPG as well. Not the ideal scenario for the truck driver with a joint family. Loss on the road and off the road too !! Poor bugger !!
And coming directly to the point - our interest - well for starters the diesel car segment will raise a huge hue and cry increasing the prices of cars regards to or regardless of the increase in production cost. Basic necessities which come to our doorstep in a diesel infused vehicle will see a rise. *Shopkeepers like this*

As for the LPG 'reforms', the family heads now have a new line on their brow. How to tackle the 6 cylinder crisis. This is much bigger than the Asian crisis of 1997 or even the Sub prime crisis of 2008. No more fancy items in order to save fuel so that the family does not need to invest in more cylinders at exorbitant prices.
So now there is a clear cut definition for any average family guy. It goes something like this. An average family guy can be defined as one with a 2 cylinder scooter, a 4 cylinder vehicle and a 6 cylinder family.

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Petrol ki Saade Saati #7.50

Government announces a hike of Rs. 7.50 in petrol and suddenly everyone go in Sonakshi Sinha style .. Gaadi chalane se darr nahi lagta saheb, petrol bharvaane se lagta hain. With citizens already feeling the wrath of taxes from the government & heat from the nature, this just is perfect as a part of the conspiracy against us !!!


But like every other thing in India petrol also felt the need to compete. Petrol price did not want the Rupee price to catch up with it, it looks for now.
So what does the Indian common man do to come out of this petrol saade saati.
Firstly, empty your petrol tanks from the respective type of vehicles and sell it for this price. Ready profit mate.
Secondly, employ cheap labour maybe one or two people to push your car around .. That is much cheaper than putting petrol in your car. Plus you would be that proud citizen who created employment in this bad scenario.
And for the most important part, forget about owning a new car in these circumstances. I for one has donated my toy car collection to my neighbour's kid. Not taking chances !!!

Rioters will have to make way for kerosene as the thing has to be burnt down anyways ... who gives a shit if it is with petrol.
Movies will have to pay too ... now the 'abla naari' type mother will no longer pour petrol all over her white saree that will make way for animation & green screen effects. As hiring a technology expert along with his to and fro flight fare & accommodation will be much cheaper.
In the coming days, we will get to hear headlines like Mr. Manmohan Singh has started his tour to meet car owners to pacify them after recent turn of events. Small petrol parcels will be dropped from the sky through aeroplanes on 10th of every month. Its just 100 ml dont get so excited. Police will conduct raids on petrol pumps just because the rate of petrol is 'high'.

So then what seem to be alternatives to this problem. Well for starters diesel seems to be the poor man's fuel nowadays. No hike for a long time. Dont laugh bitches, your time will come too.
The better option will be to use the public transport but it will be more stuffed than a fat kid's mouth in an all you can eat buffet. Then there come the bicycles & the tricycles but those are just the social publicity pangs reserved for the high society counterparts. And who will pedal all the way from Suburbs to Sobo for work. Poor guy will reach the next day !!!

So next time when the petrol pump attendant asks me how much money worth of petrol to be put in, I am going to opt for the easier option. Just sprinkle petrol worth 5 bucks on the car itself I am bloody going to burn the car !!!

That just leaves us to one solution called as Work from Home. That is the most efficient way saving both money & fuel but saves fat as well that too at all the wrong places.
All in all the Petrol hike is absurd and yeah ... Anna over to you !! Chalo Ram Leela Maidan !!