India's Version of Game of Thrones

When George Martin wrote his epic 'A Song of Fire & Ice' little did he know that several miles away, a country named India bears such close resemblances with respect to its political scenario. Our so called political bigwigs are actually fighting this battle to be one up over each other and claim the ultimate crown - The Power at the centre. The series pretty much shows a similar power struggle among 7 families for the Throne of Westeros.

Let us consider Mayawati first. Lady driven by ambition to be the best and aided by the learnings of her guide Kanshiram. She had made Uttar Pradesh her own before the father-son Yadav duo took over. When we draw parallels the only name which comes to my mind is Daenerys Targaryen with the able Ser Jorah by her side. Daenerys is a sharp woman with a blend of beauty and fighting skills but our Daenerys is much more than that. Who needs beauty when you can get things done with power and a following so big. Daenerys slowly and steadily increased her forces with acquisition but for Mayawati it wasnt difficult at all. Everyone aceepted her as the queen upon the elephant if not the dragons. Move aside the heart of stallion, this queen has taken her oath balancing elephants in one hand and opposition in the other.

Then we comes to Gandhis. Cersei Lannister & Joffrey Baratheon are splitting but slightly late born Indianized part Italian versions of Sonia Gandhi & Rahul Gandhi. The way of birth and other complications aside, the parallelism in amount of pampering in both cases sends a set of train rails to shame. One is a Justin Bieber look alike while other is as effective to the country's economy as Justin Bieber to US. As for both the moms, it was a close call as to who will win the hypothetical 'Make Son as Puppet to Rule the World' award at Fiction meet Life Awards. Similarities dont end here. While Lannisters are firmly behind this Baratheon Congress acts as Lannisters for the Gandhis.

Another strong female character is Catelyn Stark who after husband Ned's death is on her own and leads his children to the pursuit of glory, the Throne. She reminds me so much of Jayalalitha. A lady all set to take it all and the Ned-esque persona in her life was M. G. Ramachandran. The only differnece is in the motto here. While the Starks were focussed on the winter, here its 'Adipose is coming'. Its also the Adipose of power. Its often said that behind a successful man, there is a successful woman but behind this woman success, her cabinet, few hundred party workers and half of Tamil Nadu can successfully be camouflaged. While Cat had few bannermen by her feet owing to her power, Jayalalitha had the Indian version of Cyclops - Karunanidhi - always getting trounced one way or the other.

Maharashtra is an important state in the Indian political scenario. What picture I get is that its full of different personalities together making an impact. What intrigues me more is that whatever different agendas they have , all come together when the regional territories are invaded by outsiders. Night's Watch anyone ? Afterall they guard the wall from Night Walkers. Needless to say Lord Commander Mormont has to be someone who has politics in his veins in this analogy here. Lord Sharad Pawar is pretty much at the helm of Maharashtra's Watch at the Central throne. The new boy and the future hero Jon Snow, who better than Raj Thackerey. Here as well about the politics at the centre, You know nothing Jon Snow !!

Narendra Modi, the man who is virtually assigned the job to transform India. Tyrion Lannister, the man who is virtually assigned the job to make everything better in the conquest of Westeros. Both men are right in their own way, show might at times while other times let their smartness do the talking. Both faced severe criticism and people actually try to bring them down. The only difference is that whereas one is half a man, the other just by his presence makes a man becomes half his self.

Lastly our esteemed prime ministed Manmohan Singh can only be King Robert Baratheon. He doesnt have a say when the series goes in full swing because he is slain. Our King doesnt have a say anyways. Just one similarity and I rest my case.

P.S: Yours truly is actually tempted to map several more characters but keeping in mind the viewers and encoruragement to their curiosity, I am taking a pause. So think all possible analogies and reply. Thanks !!

Amazon dot IN or OUT

Amazon the etailing giant has setup shop in India hoping to make a quick buck or two in this off late tech savy country. Amazon Inc. launched an Indian edition hoping to capitalize on growth in online shopping in the country. Amazon.in, the website name is truly very symbolic as the name suggests the times ahead where Amazon will be so 'IN' the Indian markets that other book vendors and other online portals are going for a toss.

The website as of now sells books, movies and TV shows. The display will expand to include mobile phones and cameras in the coming weeks, some of which feature on the website already. However Amazon.in differs slightly from many of the company’s other websites in other regions. For the time being atleast it will only offer products from third-party sellers, rather than its own merchandise. Its like a first time swimmer testing waters before jumping in. Here, they are actually making the lifeguard test the waters for them offering their swimming trunks. Quite an analogy, this !!

But it was a well thought of process. Acquisition of Junglee.com and then getting a full fledged approval from FIPB to set up a wholly owned subsidiary to engage in “the business of online market place operator and retailer inter-alia courier services". Big words for a country who gets blinded by new and sudden bling. Amazon was welcomed with open arms. After setting up Junglee portal in 2012, Amazon now launches its own self a year after it. Its like the Sinha clan launching their top brand, Sonakshi to create visibility in Bollywood (not coz of her forehead but as an actress). And then sliding in quietly the Luvs and the Kushs to make some extra money for the family.

There was no doubt that Amazon had the potential to enter alien markets and get into their grooves quickly. Amazon offers certain world class services which some of the local 'karts' can just dream of. Customers get ready to read ‘fulfilled by Amazon’ on their orders in the near future. Customers will get the options of cash on delivery, delivery tracking to the doorstep, and free returns pickup. The best service on offer atleast for books would be the second hand books on sale with the condition of copy mentioned alongwith. The customers deserve to know whether they are buying a stylish in form Rohit Sharma or slightly defunct 'hair is a mess' Ishant Sharma !! Once this is on offer and some of their regular gimmicks, Bansals will surrender their offerings along with the 'kart'. Its actually a win-win if they sell the business to Amazon. Isnt it a trend nowadays ? Nurture a thought, let it bloom into a business and then 'Bech De' !! 

However, the creme de la creme of Amazon, its Kindle ebook reader is their main target as they look to rake in revenues from the sale of this gadget. The bibliophiles of India will have a new toy to look forward to. Paperbacks and Hardcovers of this world have been replaced by the pdfs and the epubs. Kindle will just put its own stamp of authority however the affordability will be a question in certain sections of society. The ones who will be the worst hit will be independent vendors and the book stalls who sell authorized first copies. The road side vendors will still go along their own merry ways. People will read one way or the other, if not the electronic way then the conventional way it will be. 

Whether Amazon makes hay in the bright Indian sun, only time will tell. The strong infrastructure and the changing Indian society works well towards Amazon's success. The online portal might be well received however sale of certain products might not be sky high as expected. And as I just conclude ... OMG the new Dan Brown book is 10 bucks more on Amazon than Flipkart but the delivery time is 3 days less .. this is a big catch-22 !!

From China to Chandni Chowk

No .. we are not reversing the atrocities which we faced thanks to Akshay Kumar on to the Chinese folks. Its more of a moniker to the recent visit by the Chinese Premier Li Keiqang. This visit comes after recent tense border standoff between the two Asian giants. Obviously the two sides did not meet to discuss the current trends and scenarios of contraceptives given that both the nations are population stricken. That discussion is outsourced to Bangladesh, afterall let them atleast contribute something to the World after Shakib Al Hasan.

So coming to the purpose of the visit again, it was basically to discuss the bilateral tensions between the two countires. Premier Li Keqiang met with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and the two leaders emphasized that efforts should be made to resolve the border dispute between the two countries which led to a bloody war in early sixties. The minutes of the meeting are interesting though. Li hogged the speaking bandwidth and MMS' interpreter was the relaxed of the lot.

First and foremost, the border issue. There are two aspects: Sino Indian border and South China sea. Both are similar in nature as China has shown agressive tactics in both the regions. And days after encroachment along the border, Li offers a somewhat broken olive branch and takes an affirmative for MMS' silence. Its funny that more Chinese marching towards the border is looked upon as more labour for the 'Chinese Corner' handkarts in the ghettos of Metropolitians.

Second major point Li wanted to emphasize was on bilateral trade. China has become India’s biggest trading partner in recent times. Facts show that two-way trade jumped from $5 billion in 2002 to nearly $75 billion in 2011, although that figure declined to $61.5 billion last year because of the global economic slowdown. However bigger concern is that trade remains heavily skewed in China’s favor. But both sides seem to be quite optimistic that their goal of bringing bilateral trade volume to $100 billion in 2015 is attainable. What this means is that except loads of Chinese plastic goods in Delhi's Pallika Bazaar and Mumbai's Manish Market. One can so imagine Li Keiqang as a new age squinty eyed Santa Claus with no ability  to grow a beard and ready to dump his 'low quality' goods all over your city.

What the F moment here is that Li terms this visit as fresh strategic perspective to look at Indo-China relations and fostering economic relations as well but also makes curious inquiries with our grateful neighbours. China has shored up their relationships with Nepal & Sri Lanka and I am very apathetic to our unworthy western neighbours. As if the Italian governess was not enough to toy with our baby at the helm, that this Chinese baby sitter arrived too.

But there has to be some payback. I say take Li to the various Oriental spas around the city and ask him to recognize who among those masseuses is of Chinese origin. I say take him to Chinese handkart and make him have Chicken manchow soup one by two with fried noodles and extra schezwan. I say make him watch The Myth over and over again and make him thank us for Mallika Sherawat. Last but not the least, I say make him buy a gPhone or an hPhone and use it for a month without repairs. Then dont blame me if Li goes ballistic ...

Not mere Cricketers !!!

Once Sir Don Bradman said that 'May cricket continue to flourish and spread its wings. The world can only be richer for it'. And richer it got. Right from Packer's World Tourney to the ongoing IPL, cricketers are minting money. But what if it wasnt the case and cricket was upstaged by another game say croquet. Folks, please settle down its not going to happen, just imagine !! Then in that case what do these already rich, situational poor cricketers do ? Alternate profession calling ..

Some of the past cricketers have already made their transition in other facets and trades of life successfully and then there is somebody like Vinod Kambli and his movie career. No no, Agent Vinod was not the one. It was Annarth which is also how one can describe his movie career.

Take the instance of Pathan brothers - Yusuf & Irfan. Both explosive allrounders, one hits all bowlers out of the park while other troubles the best of the best batsmen with his swing and guile. These brothers are always ready for action and always into the thick of things which makes me think that they will have an awesome alternate career as action directors like our very own Abbas Mustan. Clad in such whites that even Tide and Ariel would run for cover and gold chains around the neck. With beefy dudes ready to put their bodies on the line and pretty girls waiting for their directions, all they say is Lights, Camera & Action !!

Then there is Ishant Sharma. Gods answer to a child's query when he asked how would a horse man look like. Ishant Sharma, the tall lanky galloping paceman is and will be a force to reckon with when it comes to pace bowling on green tops and has a good resume when it comes terrorizing some of India's worthy opponents. This apart he has a brilliant scope and fit when it comes to acting in mythological serials. He can become a low budget movie's Jesus Christ or even one of either Nakul or Sahdev. If the project has severe budget constraints, he can portray all the Pandavas as well as 34 Kauravas as well. The only need would be some pillows around the body to play Gadadhari Bheem. Last we heard Kanti Shah was frantically calling him for one of his esteemed projects.

Joginder Sharma - the Indian cricketing Legend who bowled us to T20 glory. Period. Frankly thats the only thing his record says. What a claim to fame it was and made him the darling of the country. But Jogi babu has and by now must have embraced his alternate profession. He can be the brand ambassador of pity and compassion. He can be India's official face when we take our pleas to the World Bank for funding and when we apply to International Sports Committees for letting us host Sports events. What Manmohan is to silence, Jogi Babu is to pity.

Shahbaz Nadeem is one upcoming slow left arm bowler who represents Jharkhand and Delhi Daredevils. Some of his performances and his miserly bowling have made people sit and take notice. But Shahbaz Nadeem has that killer persona, quite literally. He can be that second in command to Sardar Khan or whoever is the main male protagonist in the next edition of Wasseypur series and chant all along 'Keh ke lunga sabki' in the entire movie. If not there he has the sequels of Shor in the city or Shangai to look for as well.

Then there are Sanju Samson and Sachin Baby. Both are upcoming talented batsmen hailing from Kerala who play for Rajasthan Royals in the ongoing IPL. However both seem to be those guys who run a makeshift hierarchical home turned resort out of Goa or Pondichery. One can only see them as those cool flowery shirt clad lads saying 'Welcome to India' to each passing tourist.

Amit Mishra, India's premier leg spinner who not only has performed consistently at domestic level but also is the only spinner ever to claim 3 hat tricks in IPL so far. This master spinner is known for having one of the better googly ball but his alternate career is a very conventional one. Mishraji, as some call him fondly, seems that average joe kind of guy who sits behind the table of a municipal office and demands a small bribe at the fall of a pin. Mishraji will arrive one hour late and leave one hour early and that pot belly needs atleast one hour of lunch. No hat tricks here, every business will strictly be under the table. Silence please !!

Ashok Dinda is the head band wielding fast bowler from Bengal and has also represented India at the highest level. Off late he has proved to be a batsman's paradise. With his black hairband and coupled with a mosquito netted vest and a lungi, he is that around the corner butcher who specializes in those special cuts of meat. And where will he get a better assistant than his Bengal team mate 'Shammi' Ahmad to deliver those cuts on demand to the residents of the area. Gourmet delights for everyone.

Finally there is Ashish Nehra. No list can be completed without his mention and this is no difference. Nehra was once a premium left arm fast bowler India was proud to have the services of. Who can forget his 6 wicket haul which blew England away. Now he is having his renaissance period and is back to business with the IPL. Well, owing purely to his teeth he can have a variety of alternate careers. For Nehra it might be a regular set of teeth but for everyone else it is one versatile set of tools. Need to plough your field - Call Nehra. Need to dig sand for building sand castles - Call Nehra. Need to open a bottle of beer - Call Nehra. It is as if he comes with this note attached with him 'Nehra Mein Hoon, Daant Idhar Hain'. 

**All the images are courtesy Google and links suggested by Google. Although yours truly has tweaked those images to match the contents of the blog

All the Gold, Glitters no more !!

There is an old Roman saying that Gold is tried by fire and Brave men by adversity. In the current scenario, it looks like the saying has to be twisted and retold as 'Brave men are tried by Gold'. Those brave men who showed courage in buying when the Yellow metal was at its peak in worth. And now its sliding and how. This graph is steeper than the falling career graph of Vinod Kambli.

Gold was sitting pretty at more than Rs. 31,000 per 10 gms some weeks ago and now its a big struggle to be at even Rs. 26,000. Not bigger than the one faced by the last shirt button of then Adnan Sami. The experts are predicting a free fall and the prices to go downhill from here as well. However there is some light at the end of the tunnel as there might be a support at 22,000. The keen technical analysts would know better. In simple words, Rs. 22,000 is where you would look to stop buying Gold and hope the cascading stops.

Main reason is that global inflation is falling which ends up  reducing the value of the yellow metal as a hedging mechanism against rising prices. The so called market pundits who were betting on the wave of inflation  hitting every shore of financial activity are scrambling to reverse their bets. Their haste for the exit on their gold positions is greater than the haste of those people for the exits of theaters playing RGV movie.

Another reason for gold losing its strength could be the rising dollar. The green buck has also moved up on the hopes that US economy is emerging from its crises. Similar to how the morale of Mallya goes up once Gayle starts hitting sixes. I hope Mr. Mallya atleast pays him, afterall he wins them half the matches.

Second big reason just might be the speculative selling by investors seeing that there is a trend of falling gold prices. Not just that, simply small pieces of news doing the rounds that Cyprus is planning to sell some of their gold holdings also triggered the speculative selling in anticipation. Somewhere the capseller has thrown his cap and now monkeys all around the world are throwing theirs. Fools all around, or are they ?

Over the years investors considered gold as a safe asset having stable value that is indifferent to inflation. People are known to stock gold even if they dont find any quick inflows which they could have easily got in fixed deposits or scrips. Its like using all your money and buying Glenn Maxwell and using him as a waterboy.

Basically there are two types of investors: One who buy gold for consumption purposes while others for investment purposes. The consumption kind are on seventh heaven and rushing to the nearest Kalyan Jewellers outlet with shopping bags in hand and sparkle in their eyes. No wonder India accounts for 31.5 percent of gold consumption and that too 77% of that in form of jewellery. Power to women !!

Other kind is the pro investment type. They want to extort big bucks from the market and Gold ETF is their weapon of choice. The one time poster boy of Mutual funds look to have lost its sheen with an increased redemption in the last fiscal. And if the pundits are to be believed, owing to falling prices of the yellow metal Gold ETFs would see a severe decline in terms of the popularity.

But even if the investors and the retailers turn their backs on this precious, all need not go berserk as there will be this demi-gold, I mean demi-god who will come to the rescue. Main hoon na !! Like a Boss !!

My Dream is to Fly !!

Yes its not a mere English hit son .. the dream indeed is to fly .. the dream is to rise as a Phoenix from the ashes and not stay a mere Kingfisher anymore. The Indian aviation industry has been caught in the Kratos-esque vice grip of high oil prices on one hand and competitive air fares on the other. The quarterly results clearly show that all the high soaring airlines have reached an all time low barring IndiGo. So is there a turnaround in the offing, lets investigate.

First and foremost, India is abuzz with Tata, India's premier brand entering into a JV with Air Asia. It is the first foreign interest in the large Indian aviation sector.Air Asia finally received regulatory approvals from Foreign Investment Promotion board to invest in this venture. Air Asia's stake is 49 percent and they plan to start the services from Chennai by end of 2013. Major Whistle Podu moment this.

The new airline venture will be in partnership with the Tata Group and Arun Bhatia-promoted Telestra Tradeplace. Its basically adds three vital components: Name of Tatas, Money from Bhatias and Queens Park Rangers losses from Fernandes. Only the football fanatics will get this joke. Others please google it.

But the experts have given a thumbs up to this joint venture saying that it will help domestic aviation industry grow and offer better deals for the passengers. Only time will tell.

Secondly, Etihad's much awaited buy of equity stake in Jet. Etihad, which is expanding globally, has been in talks over an equity stake in Jet since September after India relaxed ownership rules and allowed foreign airlines to buy up to 49 percent in local carriers. Etihad is however looking for a stake of 24 percent valued at about $330 million. 

The deal promises brighter days for both the parties. For Jet, it will propel them to the top of the pile and add much needed boost of funds. As for Etihad, it will guarantee them presence in India - the potential international commerce hub in the years to come. System well Sheikh-en I must say.

However the deal is poised at a standstill as the businessmen from the Gulf are extra cautious of their investment. There are several instances of past failed forays by Gulf investors into India and Etihad does not wish to be bitten by the same bug. More recent news suggest that August will be the likely time that the knot will be tied. Mind it, this is still a much better love story than Twilight. 

And lastly the never ending Kingfisher saga. The Airports Authority of India has asked the airline to cough out the pending Rs. 300 crores or let the flights remain grounded forever. Nowadays the only things remotely close to Mr. Mallya which are sky high are the sixes being hit by Chris Gayle and Virat Kohli's ego.

The renewal of flying permits seem to be a distant dream and the maintenance of the aeroplanes much costlier than Sid Mallya. I truly sympathize with Mallya Sr. but government and SBI have not given up on him. Government with their vested interests has to open up new avenues to get in foreign money have announced 49 percent partnership and SBI are selling heaps of paper scrap earlier know as shares/scrips of Kingfisher Airlines Ltd. 

So its not a strange thing that at the recently concluded IPL6 auction, Mr. Mallya insisted upon auctioning his Kingfisher Airlines and even his heir Mr. Sid Mallya !! 

So this is the current situation of the Indian Aviation industry with Ajit Singh Chaudhary at his helm. The other Ajit is pissing in the dams while for this Ajit the scenario is damn pissing. India shinning !!

A Budget story of a different kind !!

Once upon a time there was a man called Chidu living with his small family of 246 people. His predominant errand around the house was to look after the finances of the house. They had some real nosy neighbours who meddled into their scheme of things and always objected at whatever this poor soul did. But little this lungi clad number crunching simpleton know what was in store for him. Tired of the taunts made by the neighbours, his 'Near Complete Indian' mom with slight Italian roots asked him to step up and be the man. He was asked to do the near impossible but the deeds were under his skillset. Declare a budget which will not just please the neighbours but also the Gods and make his family an instant favorite among the villagers.

Up stepped Chidu closely watched by Asardar uncle and the village headman Shendi. A bow of the head to the septuagenarian Miraji and he started his speech with some assertiveness. He was not shy to accept some of the past mistakes the village and specifically his family had done. On the flip side he gave some of highly diabetes laden sweeteners which definitely made some eyes sparkle with ghee ... sorry glee !!

He was in a dilemma where he had to keep the family's head held high which meant that mellow down the errors. On the other hand .. since we are on this .. hand was their family emblem. Whoaa, you didnt see that coming, did you ?? So, some of the points which he made where as a disguise in front of the villagers. Populist was the word here. He walked this tightrope pretty well considering the situation he was put in.

First point was to reduce fiscal deficit faced by the village. Time to rake in the revenue and curb the expenditure. The unheralded stack of grain was supposed to go out of this procrastinating land on a regular basis in order to maintain some parity. Room for expenditure was increased but that was in due consideration that there will be more Chintus and Pintus this fiscal. Also another more grave point was the excess imports over exports. Chidu named it as CAD so that the villagers feel it is some high society acronym. Quite a stellar fellow this guy. This gave the clear indication, dont run behind precious yellow metals and oil. That is just for the metros and suburbs. Just in case you wish to be behind the precious, show some self sustenance or atleast minimal dependency. Some laughed, some passed sly remarks, Chidu stood tall adjusting his lungi.

For the villagers there were some cheers while there was some booing. The high end animal carts were made dearer. Engine driven carts even more. The rich were flabbergasted. The carts producing local even more. What even enraged them more was there beloved chiroots and hookahs were to come at bomb of a price. The men slightly annoyed while the women exchanged hi fives. No more idle-sitting, chiroot-smoking man of the house. One even imagined mustache wielding better half of her sucking on a lollipop instead of a cigar. Import duties on expensive gadgets was increased as well. All the clauses were going in the direction of sucking the rich high and dry. Some of the wealthy had seen enough and were leaving for their respective mansions. The parting shot was the 10% extra tax levied on those earning more than the village average. Gaping mouths. Shitting bricks.

Well there was another flavor to this budget. Power to the women. Chidu announced a fully functional all women money lending organization. This one was for the women, by the women and of the women. Female Finance Democracy. Women did the fist bumps while moneylenders did the facepalms. Chidu smiles. Chidu, you playboy !!

There were various new schemes introduced for the village investors based on the names of leaders of yesteryears. A ploy well worked. The average villagers tax problems were solved with introduction of nominal but important tax credit. The tax slabs were the same and so were the sentiments of people. Much of the emphasis was kept on the people at large.

Shifting the focus to the people outside, Chidu made some smart moves. Simplification of investment norms meant that the rich metros will invest in the village produce and realty. Special provisions and funds were allotted to building warehouses too. All were ominous signs for investment from outside. There was postponement of RAAG, the retrospective tax laws.

There were points aplenty but that we will leave to the Oswals and Jains to brainstorm upon. This was just what the young man Chidu did. He ended his account with a sonnet from his favorite poet. This budget had now officially seen it all. Emotions galore. Chidu steps down and walks the walk. #LikeABoss