Its Showtime Folks !!!

The Indian Film industry is one of the biggest and widest of its kind not even in terms of substance but also with the revenues raked in. Whatever be the plot and whomsoever be the characters, people throng the screens in order to get their weekly dose of entertainment. India wont be India if the ticket windows don't have those Friday rushes and those mad hat movie spoiler alerts over the weekend parties. That's the flavor of Bollywood !!

Year after year new plots comes and go but one thing hasn't seized to exist. No, I am not speaking about our beloved Prime Minister's silence. Its the way how audience flip over. People appreciate the new plots with the same gusto as the old chewed maneuvers time and again. So when Momento inspired Ghajini knocked on the door what enthralled the audience was how beefed up Aamir Khan was and not the fact that 'Have I seen this before?'. Who gives much thought if the song is an Indonesian hit, we just like that it sounds much better when Pritam gets inspired and recreates music.

But the fact that the Bollywood hits pile on 100 freaking crores and off late even enter the glorious 200 crore clubs is not mere star power and good luck. There are some hidden messages worth gold dust in them. Lets have a look at some of them.

3 Idiots depicted students that being stereotypes will not fetch them good jobs especially when you are mediocre and that how three lanky people can ride on the smallest of the mopeds. Dont even get me started on Phunsuk Wangdoo. It sounds like thukpa stall name gone wrong.

Salman Khan is undoubtedly the king of these blockbusters with five 100 crore plus movies. This is largely thanks to the dedicated clan called as Bhai ke fans. They are the single biggest reason for the success of Salman Khans box office hits. Other actors are in search of such a dedicated fan base.

The hit formula is being Dabangg and doing it all over again and just being Dabangg again. Confused ?? But yeah if the sequel rakes in more than the original there are plenty of numbers in the number system. No worries .. just carry on.

Then there is Bodyguard. It showed us that a man with canon like biceps and beefed up chest can carry a name like Lovely and that its cool to love your bodyguard. If Dignity of Labour is all cool nowadays, make way for Dignity of Love !!

Ek Tha Tiger showed us that if the intelligence agent of enemy country is stunningly beautiful then dont give a tiny rats ass to your respective agencies. Just elope with her and start a family in an exotic location say Hawaii or Cuba.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag emphasized on the fact that a biopic where the actor looked more realistic than the idol and moreover which doesnt give the facts in its totality still makes millions. Afterall its just a 'run' into stardom.

Yeh Jawaani Hain Deewani was an experience in its own. It helped late students and early earners relive their camping trips and made others like your truly feel guilty of not going on them when the time was right. Who knew Deepika Padukone esque girls even went to camping trips !!

Chennai Express taught us not to repeat cult scenes in 90s movies in this era. Giving a hand to a pretty girl to get her on the train is fine but lending a hand to four big ass ugly bodyguards of her is utter folly. Important teaching is that actors playing their age is in vogue.

Then there is Grand Masti. When you hold on to all those jokes of your graduation days and add a butt load of vulgarity to it then 3 weeks of success and 90 odd crores is what comes in. Severe procurement of sausages and bananas by the production house tells you the whole story, doesnt it ??

So now just become Besharam in your plot and create Dhoom on the Box office. Moolah will follow.

Split Wide Open ..

After years of protests and determination shown by the people, finally the far fetched dream seems to come to a reality. Indian National Congress declared that a separate state of Telangana will come into existence within 5 or 6 months from now. The proposed new state corresponds to the Telugu-speaking portions of the erstwhile princely state of Hyderabad.

The decision looked so causal as if it was decided by a coin toss. Thank goodness it came as Tails and not heads otherwise Headangana would have been weird. Thus Telangana was born. Telangana primarily consists of the districts north of the original Andhra Pradesh and dwells the capital Hyderabad. People have shown all sorts of agitations: Against formation of Telangana, against division of Andhra Pradesh, against loss of assets and even against the degrading quality of biryani in the top restaurants in Banjara Hills area. Top leaders have already showed their opposition with withdrawals from running the state government and even from Rajya Sabha. The main point of backing their opposition is that the new state will not be developed and will take a lot of time to be right up there. Numerous other points follow. But there are other things at stake as well.

Losing out on the typical Hyderabadi biryani is too much. I for one will go on strike too if I am deprived of all the Deccani eateries around. As for Charminar, I dont think will be much of a problem. Its simple, build eight minars or get ready to lose out on tourism money. The big question for this silver screen savy country is where will Tollywood move. The second biggest film industry after Bollywood is divided as to where to shift its loyalty. While majority of the studios are in Telangana but control of audience might be more in Andhra Pradesh or the future Seemandhra. New releases might come into jeopardy with big money at stake.

The geography plays a cruel game on Seemandhra. Take out Telangana and the state looks like the male reproductive organ. Now we get it that when the division happened who the Tom was and who became the Dick. Harry felt left out maybe he will stage a strike or revolt like the numerous groups and sects occupying Seemandhra. 

Telengana is not an isolated incidence. Many follow up similar cases have arised. Gorkhaland from West Bengal, Harit Pradesh from UP, Bodoland from Assam and Vidarbha from Maharashtra are just the ones top of peoples minds. 

Gorkhaland is something whch the residents of Darjeeling and surrounding areas want a separate state of their own for better running of affairs and protect Gorkha identity. The movement longs back as old as 1907 but could not gain momentum to explore the issue. Gorkha Janmukti Morcha is looking for prompt solutions but face opposition from in rule Trinamool Congress. Sudden movement in Telangana will give impetus to this cause as well. How often do you see only one fast food stall run in pomp ? The neighbouring stalls do quick business as well with nearly the same recipe. Get the point.

Bodoland is a demand of a similar movement to protect identity of Bodos which has been started in 1987 proclaiming 32 tribal belts and blocks on northen Bramhaputra as their own wonderland. Bodoland Peoples front is the body at the helm but face similar opposition as others. Here the main point is that once Bodoland is created, will the attrocities of various Bodo terror outfits stop ?

Vidarbha is already separated on cricketing grounds from Maharashatra and now might even look to go its separate ways on the politicial front. People of Vidarbha want a place of their own where no one is neglected and not stay in the shadows of political bigwigs running the state out of Mumbai. But this is not as easy as it sounds. Congress will hinder any advances for a separate Vidarbha simply for the fact that they need Vidarbha and their leaders for a sound majority and belittle NCP as well as opposition. As for opposition, BJP is pro Vidarbha but is that a mere opposition pre election gimmick, only time will tell. One cannot however dispute the fact that there is not enough leadership to drive the Vidarbha independence movement simply for the fact that it wont have stayed untouched for 40 years now. How many laymen have heard Vidarbha apart from farmer suicides and Umesh Yadav ?? More than political parties, individuals who genuinely feel for the cause should come together and drive it otherwise it will just be a Hollywood movie in Indian theatres .. talked about in the first week, wiped off in the second.

We all have learnt it one way or the other that sequels never work. Be it KBC or even MMS government. Only debarment to it being Tushar Kapoor and that was simply cause he was mute and the Eehhs and Ohhs were more funny than words. On a high level Telanagana was a hit with its motive but the other so called sequels around the country will have a tall order to go against. Maybe we can request Rohit Shetty to direct this cause, forget independence maybe we might see a couple of cars in the air and go back home with over 100 crores.

Young Red Devils .. over the years !!

This article featured on the sporting website Khelnama is about Manchester United Academy over the years and how it has produced and nurtured young players over the years. Out of all those players, some clicked while some flopped. Heres a look at some of the Young Red Devils over the years.

The link for the article: 

http://www.khelnama.com/130808/football/european-league-2012/english-premier-league/features/young-brigade-manchester-united-who-clicked-and-who-failed/11502

A Royal Baby cometh !!

For once Pippa Midleton was relieved that her derriere was not the focus of the tabloids. It was a certain equally cute thing, the Royal baby or the new born of Prince William and Kate Middleton. The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge had their new born but the entire United Kingdom rejoiced as if it was their own. On 22nd of July, the Royal family marked the arrival of the royal baby and the third in line to the much coveted throne. Poor thing, what pressure already  !!

There was immense media coverage with paparazzi going wild with glimpses of anything and everything. Be it the baby bump of Kate or the nurse who attended the duchess. The paparazzi just wanted snaps of the new His Royal Highness (HRH) so much so that when he barely touched his face with his palm that was deemed to be the first royal salute. It maybe a Royal salute for tabloids but its a big Facepalm to British media. Luis Suarez and Wayne Rooney like this status update already !!

This royal birth took British media by storm in terms of both coverage and revenue. Alistar Cook and his English teams cricket exploits were sent packing to the less lucrative middle pages and one off interviews. Rugby Lions also received a similar fate. Russel Brand found it disrespectful that his latest exploit wasn't taken notice off and he called it absolute 'Bollocks' !! Piers Morgan expecting such a change has already moved to Twitter fr his antics.

Well the baby was named as George Alexander Louis. The fans of Seinfeld actor Jason Alexander with his screen name as George Louis Costanza will be super proud. The sort of out of work actor atleast is remembered and is having his two moments of fame. The only hope is that this royal George doesn't look like this namesake George otherwise HRH will be seen more in anti baldness cream adverts of Telebrands. British betting sites like Ladbrokes & BetFred went into overtime to place bets for what will the name of HRH will be. Weirdly Messi as the name was a front runner too, cant blame UK if they want their own Messi. But somewhere I felt it was not thought off till the end. For a boy named George Alexander Louis will always have an acronym of GAL, its good that he owns half of UK otherwise this would mean lifetime bullying in school.

India was kind too in reception to the Royal baby. Either its the love for cute babies or just old attachments to colonialism by the British. All social networks were abuzz with the expectations, actual news of birth as well as post delivery overview. Ram Gopal Verma has announced to make a movie on the Royal birth saga and name it 'GAL ka birth'. Poonam Pandey and Sherlyn Chopra have already put their hand up for being George's girl friend and have promised they will maintain themselves with their Nasha & kheera respectively. Gourmet restaurants across India introduced a special 50% off on Fish n Chips to commemorate the royal birth.

Royal baby however has a rival across ocean in India, the very own Rahul Baba. This kid throws more tantrums than the royal baby will ever throw. Backed by his mother, baba is all set for ruling a democratic nation and need not stand in line behind individuals for his turn. Speaks a lot about British courtesy and Indian jugaadu approach. However one thing which is common is that both are darlings of the media, one way or the other.

But in all this buzz and chaos one particular individual is not taking it particularly well. You know who !!

Curious Case of Edward Snowden

The story of Edward Snowden is nothing short of an epic blockbuster movie and there will soon come a day when a biopic will be released on him with possibly Ashton Kutcher as Snowden. Who needs facial and character similarities if the twitter following of the star is beyond millions.

Snowden who is an American former technical contractor for the United States National Security Agency (NSA) and a former employee of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) leaked details of several top-secret U.S. and British government mass surveillance programs to the press. He leaked the information to the Guardian which inturn published the information during July 2013 to make quick news and bucks. The events and the media coverage followed soon and as of now its Run Snowden Run. Apparently Lola is damn pissed after the spotlight shift.

Last heard Snowden had made Moscow airport his own and settled there till the international ruckus had died down. USA is after him like those hounds behind that rabbit like its hunting season. Its only fitting that Snowden is looking for asylum in the third world countries with pleas after pleas. Suddenly the influx of stationery to Moscow airport has increased a lot and likes of Staples are thinking of setting up shop there. It seems that Domodedovo market at the airport has already 'Snowden Sundays' for special discounts to the travellers who come there with a their picture with Snowden. Looks like Snowden took Tom Hank's Terminal way too seriously.

The newest of allegations are that Russia is making their stance through Snowden. Making a guy charged with espionage and theft of government property their indirect spokesman for other world matters, what a move Russia. *Slow Claps* This aside, why doesnt Snowden understand that with his actions he makes our very own MMS very insecure. At this age he doesnt need competition for Gods sake !!

Speaking of India, like always we were stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one side it was pressure from USA and the siding with the stronger just to make good of the political relations. On the other side it was the pressure of being a tolerant country pro towards being very sentimental in its outcome towards a problem. Now I know how star son actors like Tushar Kapoor feel. Movie goers dont want to see them featuring in any movie as a lead while their fathers/sisters/brothers/gardeners want them to feature in a movie and will spend a fortune. So as expected India chucked out and criticized his act as one not in the spirit of World betterment plus declined his plea for asylum as well. India whining in this case !!

But had India given him asylum he would have fit in easily. We are a society of people who take leaks here and there on the roads and along the highways and this Snowden leak would have made no difference. Speaking of asylum, we give unofficial asylum to half of Bangladesh and some firangs too, one more wont make a difference. Not so gloomy, he might even become a celebrity with games and mystery novels depicting him like 'Find Snowden' picture books and 'Where is Snowden' board game. Indians know how to make a quick buck or two.

Now every theatrical story should have its very own romantic twist. This curious case too has one. Many maidens around the world are going ga ga over his whistleblowing exploits. However ex Russian spy Anna Chapman went the distance and proposed marriage to Snowden on social media. Did not know whistle blowing leads to blowing of kisses from pretty maidens. So when this bombshell proposed on Twitter, obviously little birdies were tweeting .. oops chirping inside Snowden.

Snowden obviously tired of running around or staying put in an airport and in search of the much needed asylum, will look for something concrete. Nothing is more concrete than building his own fortress or a stronghold. Mr. Edward Snowden will start his own country, the magical land of Snowdenia. The country is no Narnia or Transylvania but the realities of life elsewhere will be covered with blankets of hallucinations. It will be a place where the likes of Bradley Manning and Daniel Ellsberg will find solace and peace. Julian Assange for once will enjoy not being in spotlight. Rather than facing the press, he will be sitting on a easy chair sipping cocktails and watching the sunset. Snowdenia will have areas like Whistling County for enjoying your vacations and perhaps a Breaking News fun park for all the enjoyment. Main thing will be that the land of Snowdenia will be free of surveillance. No one to snoop even if he has a big ass magnifying glass !!

A phase never experienced at Manchester United

Its an account on the current state of Manchester United after the departure of Sir Alex Ferguson and arrival of fellow Scotsman David Moyes. It gives some of the expectations and feelings of Manchester United fans and what the season holds for one of the biggest clubs in football.

The article can be found out at the following link:

http://www.khelnama.com/130703/football/european-league-2012/english-premier-league/commentaries/it-will-be-interesting-moyes-will-take-time-adjust-man-united/10392

Please note that it is included here purely as a form of collectible on the author's private blog and not published.

India's Version of Game of Thrones

When George Martin wrote his epic 'A Song of Fire & Ice' little did he know that several miles away, a country named India bears such close resemblances with respect to its political scenario. Our so called political bigwigs are actually fighting this battle to be one up over each other and claim the ultimate crown - The Power at the centre. The series pretty much shows a similar power struggle among 7 families for the Throne of Westeros.

Let us consider Mayawati first. Lady driven by ambition to be the best and aided by the learnings of her guide Kanshiram. She had made Uttar Pradesh her own before the father-son Yadav duo took over. When we draw parallels the only name which comes to my mind is Daenerys Targaryen with the able Ser Jorah by her side. Daenerys is a sharp woman with a blend of beauty and fighting skills but our Daenerys is much more than that. Who needs beauty when you can get things done with power and a following so big. Daenerys slowly and steadily increased her forces with acquisition but for Mayawati it wasnt difficult at all. Everyone aceepted her as the queen upon the elephant if not the dragons. Move aside the heart of stallion, this queen has taken her oath balancing elephants in one hand and opposition in the other.

Then we comes to Gandhis. Cersei Lannister & Joffrey Baratheon are splitting but slightly late born Indianized part Italian versions of Sonia Gandhi & Rahul Gandhi. The way of birth and other complications aside, the parallelism in amount of pampering in both cases sends a set of train rails to shame. One is a Justin Bieber look alike while other is as effective to the country's economy as Justin Bieber to US. As for both the moms, it was a close call as to who will win the hypothetical 'Make Son as Puppet to Rule the World' award at Fiction meet Life Awards. Similarities dont end here. While Lannisters are firmly behind this Baratheon Congress acts as Lannisters for the Gandhis.

Another strong female character is Catelyn Stark who after husband Ned's death is on her own and leads his children to the pursuit of glory, the Throne. She reminds me so much of Jayalalitha. A lady all set to take it all and the Ned-esque persona in her life was M. G. Ramachandran. The only differnece is in the motto here. While the Starks were focussed on the winter, here its 'Adipose is coming'. Its also the Adipose of power. Its often said that behind a successful man, there is a successful woman but behind this woman success, her cabinet, few hundred party workers and half of Tamil Nadu can successfully be camouflaged. While Cat had few bannermen by her feet owing to her power, Jayalalitha had the Indian version of Cyclops - Karunanidhi - always getting trounced one way or the other.

Maharashtra is an important state in the Indian political scenario. What picture I get is that its full of different personalities together making an impact. What intrigues me more is that whatever different agendas they have , all come together when the regional territories are invaded by outsiders. Night's Watch anyone ? Afterall they guard the wall from Night Walkers. Needless to say Lord Commander Mormont has to be someone who has politics in his veins in this analogy here. Lord Sharad Pawar is pretty much at the helm of Maharashtra's Watch at the Central throne. The new boy and the future hero Jon Snow, who better than Raj Thackerey. Here as well about the politics at the centre, You know nothing Jon Snow !!

Narendra Modi, the man who is virtually assigned the job to transform India. Tyrion Lannister, the man who is virtually assigned the job to make everything better in the conquest of Westeros. Both men are right in their own way, show might at times while other times let their smartness do the talking. Both faced severe criticism and people actually try to bring them down. The only difference is that whereas one is half a man, the other just by his presence makes a man becomes half his self.

Lastly our esteemed prime ministed Manmohan Singh can only be King Robert Baratheon. He doesnt have a say when the series goes in full swing because he is slain. Our King doesnt have a say anyways. Just one similarity and I rest my case.

P.S: Yours truly is actually tempted to map several more characters but keeping in mind the viewers and encoruragement to their curiosity, I am taking a pause. So think all possible analogies and reply. Thanks !!